Stress

WHY. Why doesn't begin to describe how I've been feeling lately. I'm sick and tired of guys. I'm sick and tired of being ran over\used and ignored by guys who I think are great. It's lame... Why must I fall for their stupid games or quirks.... I promised myself I wouldn't get caught up in boys for a while getting over Dave, but yet I find myself right where I started. Not with him to say the least. but with this other one. Justin...

Justin is quite an amazing guy, best two stepper I've danced with, and that's saying a lot cause I've two stepped a day or two in my lifetime. However. He's just like the others. Doesn't call, Doesn't leave a message, and doesn't even seem phased by the fact that he and I were on such a close level.

Needless to say, he's still a great friend. As is Dave. But somehow I find myself ending up single for the majority of my life.

Big girls dont cry right? Wrong. I sit here at work, tears welling up in my eyes- Fear of loneliness. Fear of remaining attached to my parents. Fear of not being able to experience the love that they have or even Shelley and Stephen. I just feel like I'm missing out on one of God's greatest gifts... Love.
I'm full of it.. it being love, not shit! haha jk
My heart is overflowing, wanting somewhere to give it. I want to cook amazing meals, clean a house, do laundry, go to work. Make love all night long, wake up to brush my teeth next to a man that adores me for my nerdy-ness, goofball-ness, and even my curves.

Fantasy world I guess.

Here's to the single life. I need a drink.

Update on my life

Hello Blog, that i rarely write in. I am at work and under the circumstances of waiting for tonight to begin once I get off work.

School starts on Monday for me. I don't know if I'm excited about it or anxious, or even dreading it at this point. I'm taking considerably less hours this semester and am very glad for it too.

Still working at Pinocchio's pizza, some days its great, some days its horrible. Stupid people give me hell. But I must say i enjoy the time I have here with my coworkers. Sanity it is of me and three 50 plus women who pretty much keep me, well.. me. Sometimes I just need this. Words cant really explain these women. But they are my support group

Life is going... I'm just trying to keep up!