hard

I wish I could say that I'm doing great back up here at school....however, school is great work is hard and long.. i realized today that I'm taking 18 hrs of school while working for 20. geebus, imagine that... me working as much as possible.

so whats not so great you ask?
me. i know at this point mom is saying, take some more paxil... its like the answer to my life is medicine... i know it helps, but it doesnt solve anything, it just covers it. at this point, ive done all i can do with what has been bothering me now for over a year. im not suer if i should call it a waste of time... or a milestone. now im taking a "mondernisitic" idea to my life and asking "Why not" or "how come?"

i wish i had answers. answers to questions im not even sure of.



spring break was a ton of fun... we danced, sang, hugged, stumbled, drank, and saw wonderful places... i just wish i could get over it


i wish i could get over holding his hand, laying in the hammock, playing halo to the wee hours of the morning, i wish i could get over the dances, i wish i wasnt so selfish. i wish i could turn back the clock that got me here today. why did it get so complicated? why did i have to find out the truth... why did i have to open my mouth? cause quite frankly, im sick of feeling like walking on egg shells.. i dont know what else to do
, and i know thats wwhats right to do right now... nothing

but i cant let go
ive tried
i cant

F*$%

I'm too excited to sleep.....

Hey there blog. Well, its 3:08am and I can't sleep. I know this is TMI, but its from a little person I'd like to call, Aunt Flow. She throws off my sleeping habits. But this is good. Because I've got a lot on my mind and I'm finding some good time to get it all straight.

I'm really excited about the cruise. Like beyond all comprehension. I do not believe I've been this excited in a long LONG time. I have so many high expectations, not of a magnificant ship and crew. But just truly enjoying time with my friends and family. One week. Thats all. Wow this semester has gone by quick. I'm not complaining, but damn. Whew, that was fast.


In case ya'll haven't had an update, my Grandfather has been in and out of the hospital these past few weeks. No worries, he's home and on the mend. But he had a bad case of Pnemonia. (however u spell it). Mom (once again) has been going above and beyond her daughterly duties and has been a tremendous help to Papa and Granny Jackie.

So nevertheless, I;'m going to attempt to go to bed again. CANT WAIT!

Em

March Update

spring break is almost here
ill update more later LOL