Dreams

D- disregards all truth
R- Ridicules Reality
E- exercises our hearts
A- Allows us to not feel guilty
M- Makes us believe in perfection
S- Shows our true selves and aspirations

Ever have those dreams that seem so real, you wake up wondering if it could have been? Dreams that weren't so far fetched that they could never happen, but yet leave you with enough belief that it could. The movie Cinderella couldn't have put it any better. " A dream is a wish your heart makes.." I had one of those last night. As wonderful as my dream was, I was in that land called perfect. (minus a few details), but then I wake up, and realize that this is nowhere near perfect. (But there is Walgreens) JK- but there is the reality that my dream wasn't and fantasy. It was just that, a dream. Dreams are the realistic ones, fantasies aren't. Why do I dream so much? Daydream, nightdream, napdream, who cares. I do them all. No matter where I'm at, my mind is somewhere else. Thats the truth. In Mexico, yes I was having a ball. But no matter where I've been, I'm looking to where I can go? Maybe? I dunno. OR I think of stupid stuff I can't control. Its like I'm not always there. I know thats gonna get a lot of laughs from my family, but im not talking about being a retard, but like my mind is tricking me into this perfect world. So in my head everything is the way it should be and everything's find. But My heart is starting to tell me no, dreaming isnt good enough anymore. I'm ready to see those dreams being brought into reality. Thus now, I'm not all there because I'm scavaging for ways to bring those dreams to reality. Every second my mind races with, How do I tell so-and-so how much they mean to me, or whats the fastest way I can save money for this trip, how can I figure out school, what could make me happiest right now, what if I dont have time to figure this out? What if what if, how, how how, who who who,when when when. I have so many questions, and I just want them answered, cause I've been looking for those answers for years now, and I'm just realizing whats making me not all there.

Wow, I think I could be my own shrink one day. I just figured stuff out by that ranting and raging.
Thank you blog

SWEET

You Are Las Vegas

Wild and uninhibited, you enjoy all of life's vices. You're a total hedonist, especially with sex, gambling, and drinking. You shine brightly every night, but you do the ultimate walk of shame each morning. Famous Las Vegas residents: Wayne Newton, Howard Hughes, Penn & Teller, Siegfried & Roy

What American City Are You?

My thankyou to God

i thanked him for the moon. and asked that it be out when i get my hammock up and running, if not id have to sleep out on my roof one night. TTU08 SuperTGirl: sounds odd. but it was shining in

the countdown begins

tminus 9 days (from tomorrow) that I'll be in in lubbock.
ah that sounds so cool! 9 days, i cant wait. best part is, my parents will be there, thats the best of both worlds i was tellin u about.

i cant wait for the colorado trip, its going to be so much fun. lots of poker :) i need a new pair of shoes
haha

later folks

geez

Sorry about that last post. I had taken out my stress on my lonely factor. Kinda dumb I know.
Anyways, I'm about to go to work, its not too bad considering its just driving two girls around Houston, so I can't complain much.

you know whats exciting! I'll be in lubbock on the 17th-19th! :( I get to come home and work for a few more days then go back to Lbk for the international conference. I'm excited about that like you couldn't believe. Don't get me wrong I love my family, but when I come home, its way different. I guess that whole not having a bed thing really wasnt fun to realize. But then I think of people who sleep on a couch when they come home, so a futon isnt so bad after all. I miss my family when I'm gone, but not when I come home. I love it when they come up there. Like I get the best of both worlds. Maybe thats why I'm in such a hurry to get back up there. I'm not sure. It's just frustrating to try to figure it out. Thats why I should just keep up my job and let June 17th get here when it does.

Well I'm off to finish getting ready. -More update later -


E-Bo

if you divide either 5 or 3 by 2 you always end up with 1

My name is Emily. I'm a permant 5th wheel when I'm home or around any family. Regardless of a big argument between the 2 said couples, i'm still the one sitting in the back of the car daydreaming wondering why I even exisit sometimes. I know thats a shitty thing to say, but I am reluctant to come home this next year w\ Shelley now moving back home. Shelley steve mom and dad. the magnificant 4. and their sidekick emily. The reason why I'm so anxious to get up to Lubbock is because, I don't have that 5th wheel syndrome when i'm up there... like, I actually have a bed &I don't get kicked out because of my future brother-in-law and stuck on a futon and a shower I can't use. In Lubbock I have these friends that are my life. They're the other 5th wheels of the world. But regardless of just being the 5th wheel I do feel beyond lonely here. I spend most of my time here online. Staring at the screen, anxious to talk to my friends. It's hard cause I love Tamara to death, but I also love many of my friends up in Lbk. I went and saw her tonight, I met her boyfriend. He's really nice and I def. approve, but then I was the 3rd wheel. I hate odd numbers.

I have always hated odd numbers. why cant it be 5 divided by one.. because no matter what country u're at. if u divide 5 or 3 by two, you will always have ONE leftover. I'm not asking\looking to make my family's #6, but I am wanting for once in a long time, to not be just sitting in the back of the car daydreaming, or wondering how many more arguments from now until the wedding, or will i be yet another cause that we have to wait an extra 10 minutes for a dinner table, or even borrowing a chair from another table. Its not some sappy oh poor me I'm single talk. It's me wanting a partner in crime, someone to just hang with to fill that 4th or 6th seat when I'm starting to daydream again. Just so I have someone to talk to. It's me saying how I don't miss it when its gone. And I cherish the times when I don't feel it.
And I'm also wondering if anyone else ever feels the same way I do?