Merry Christmas

Hello there blog world. It's me again. I'm not sure what to write on here, so bear with me as I just type away.

I'm enjoying my "Winter break" so far, actually I'm quite irked that we have to call it "winter break" it's my Christmas vacation, and I don't care who I piss off really. I enjoy Christmas and what it represents, now do I think that it makes me religiously two-faced, yeah. I'm not really good about maintaining the great connection with my Father upstairs throughout the year, but to me I see that no matter what I can guarantee that my heart always goes back to the true meaning of Christmas. Which is the point I suppose. Jesus was born out of love from God, therefore we celebrate his birthday as a celebration of love. Compliments of my student's Christmas program, "Christmas is love" simple words that put it into perspective.

Next topic that has popped into my mind: Friends
I had this old friend, she and I were inseparable growing up. I mean, attached at the hip, but now I find myself distanced from her. Not because of her, but because of me. I've removed myself from the friendship with her. But now after years of avoiding it she's really upset with me and probably is hoping I die at this point. So even if she doesn't read this, I want to put it out there so maybe one day I can tell her I thought about it a lot...

T-
I know I have not been there for the past couple of years, trust me I'm aware of it, and I want to come clean.

Last December when you and I got together for dinner and I sat down and told you what had originally upset me, I was super excited to get it off my chest. I saw it as the opportunity to start clean and get back into our rhythm. I talked about the things that upset me, and still do this day really do still bother me. But as you know it didn't change my desire to keep to myself. That is when I figured that (in my heart) it was time to move on. Not to "move on" from all the incredible memories and fun times we had, but to move on from childhood. I was ready to take a leap of faith by myself to make something on my own. Graduated college, bought a house, travel the world, and take care my own dreams. Now here is where I'm torn, now this shouldn't mean I had to drop our friendship all together, I know. But to me that is how the cards fell. Our schedules never matched up, I don't have the spontaneous personality any more, and have found my rhythm to a simple home life.

I was really upset with what you posted on my facebook wall a few weeks ago. Talking about how "we can't even say hi anymore". First of all, if I did see you there, I would have absolutely said hi,but I had no clue you were even there... to make that further clearer, Steve (brother in law) was also there, and I didn't even see him... once I got over the shock of you "de-friending" me on Facebook, I then thought to myself, why didn't YOU come say hi to me? 2 way street.

Then I look back to August\September, you sent me a text message that said "I could really use your friendship right now" I tried responding but since I was at reliant stadium, I couldn't get the text sent out in time, then you send me a scathing one back about not responding.
Please be fair. Don't be too quick to judge.

Maybe our paths will cross again and on a positive note, where if I do see you I can say hi, or if you see me, you will come up and say hi. I hope that you will be able to see it from more than one direction one day. See where I'm coming from. Until then, take care of yourself, and don't forget our happier times...

Emily



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okay, that makes me feel even better.. maybe i can email that to her one day, hell i know it's not perfect but its closer to what needs to be said than nothing.

Back to my rambling
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Happiness: I wish everyone around me could elude happiness more. Including myself. There have been recent times where I listen to those close to me and really bothers me with the negativity that always seems to override the positivity. I know that not all of us love our jobs 100%, but that's what we're doing right now. However, just because someone has had a bad day doesn't mean we need to make them feel worse about it.

So here is my resolution for 2011:to exude more happiness
To pull the school's 3:1 ratio of positive:negatives in my life. Not saying to someone, but to be 75% more positive of the time to counteract the inevitable 25% of the time that things won't be going the way I want.

This way, even if people I'm close to, or are acquaintances with need someone are having a bad day, they won't have to worry about me making it worse by making them feel bad about it.

Alrighty, I'm done rambling on here... off to wrap more presents and enjoy my Christmas VACATION!

ps. I love you PaPa and miss you tons still!!

Em

I did it!

I have successfully marked #1 on my bucket list off. HOLY SHIT. Sadly those are the first two words that came to mind as i typed that. I'm sitting back at my house, slowly uploading pictures to facebook. Really slowly. One day's pictures at a time.

It was an amazing trip. I wish I could put it into words on how awesome it was. Everything I dreamed it would be and more. My expectations were exceeded by all aspects of the trip. No, I didn't find a hot Italian man to fall in love with yet, but I know he's out there.... haha

Christmas is coming up and I find myself in quite the spirit this year, listening to the music and Granny decorating our house one thing at a time helps too! Ready to have Xmas break off to just be at home with family and friends.. hopefully Santa will be good this year? I think so, because he's always amazing.

Merry Christmas all!


ps. i still miss PaPa