Two posts in one week. Holy Hell, I've lost my marbles...
I write again from my kitchen table, in my haven't-been-updated-since-1983- house. I sit here and contemplate (while sleep aid kicks in), the future. As of this past weekend I've had some big ideas running through my head with how things may turn out in the next year or so.
I love the fact that I have options and decisions I can make on my own, but truth be told, it's very scary.
I have confidence that I won't make a rash or quick decision about life without considering the future but I do feel I'm at a place where I can (once again), "Jump without looking".
Mom said to me last summer "you have the rest of your life to make the safe decisions". That has stuck with me.
Maybe with age comes fear, I think there is something very philosophical about that. The older we get, the less likely we are to take risks.... That worries me, because I'm not getting any younger and I do feel the pull to make safe choices....
Medical bills are a pain in the ass. Even with insurance.
I want more routine in my life. I want more than and hour and a half awake at home in 24 hours.
I need balance.
Much love,
E
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