Prolouge- The Dog That Hates Being Alone

A recent graduate from Texas Tech University, I am embarking on the chance of a lifetime. I'm self-sufficient, educated, employed, and 100% single. My life has been a wonderful rollercoaster, full of its ups and downs. My family is my life. I come from two lovely parents, (Dad=Dennis - Mom= Phyllis) who have fufilled their parental duties to raise 2 daughters, educate them, and give them the tools needed to "fly" at the right time. Speaking of that, I have an older sister-Shelley, she's about 2 years older than me, and is married to a wonderful man- Stephen.

Its Sunday evening, I'm sitting on the couch at my new apartment. It is a small one bedroom apartment near Houston TX. A queen size bed, comfortable enough for royalty! New couch and ottoman, kitchen table, and computer. I still have boxes left to unpack, mostly in the study. Pretty much everything else is taken care of.
Tucker is my 10 month old Dachshund, who weighs an impressive 7.6 pounds. He's sleeping by my side, curled up underneath my red blanket. Tucker hasn't quite adjusted to the move yet, his idea of fun here consists of following me around the apartment, howling when I leave, or scratching the front door until I come home. Almost like that when I leave, he'll never have a friend again. Odd, but we're working on it. I just think he hates being alone.
I am about to start my career as an Elementary Music Teacher. I am very excited about the upcoming year; however, I am nervous about the social life. Unlike most girls in the world I'm not your typical girl. I hide behind my family, my jokes, and my overall bubbly personality. Finding strength that I never knew I had to be happy with my life. It is typical for women\girls of a "plus size" stature to long for the Fairy Tale love story. Well, guess what, I am one of those girls.
Don't get me wrong, at 23 I have had the wonderful opportunity to meet some great men in my life. Heck, being a tuba player most of my closest friends are boys. I have toiled with the idea of an Emily overhaul for about a year now, and always wanting to write- this has to be my best idea yet.
As tomorrow starts a new week, I'm starting a new chapter into my adventurous adulthood. To work with Tucker on being alone, we will try a 20 minute window of alone time while I Emily, will be working out.

I got a job at Pomeroy Elementary in Pasadena ISD.

I've got an apartment.

Job Hunt Continues

Here are the places I've applied and the status' that I know of.

1. Deer Park ISD -Elementary Interviewed-> waiting for news
2. Pasadena ISD- Elem. Application Acitve
3. Angleton ISD- HS Application Active
4. Clear Creek ISD- HS Applied
5. Lamar Consolidated ISD- HS Applied
6. Galena Park ISD- Elem. Applied
7. Barbers Hill ISD-HS Applied
8. Pearland ISD- HS Applied
9. Texas City ISD- Elem. Applied
10. Alvin ISD- Elem Applied
11. Spring Branch ISD- HS Applied


whew- more to come I'm sure

Lost in the moment

Dearest Blog.

I'm sorry I have not been faithful. Life as I know it has been, well... different.

Glorious thing happens tomorrow. My 80 year old grandfather completes his 37-procedure proton radiation at MD Anderson. Not only is he practically symptom free, but he's happy. 1- he gets to go home and spend time, well... at home. 2- this has been an incredible learning experience for everyone, and if you know PaPa he's a damn good teacher. 3- this should yield excellent results for now.

Thursday my cousin Mikey and his wife Rachel, will welcome Baby Gaskamp into the world. I'll have a 2nd cousin, and my grandparents will get to see a GREAT-GRANDBABY! :)

Shelley and Steve are looking down the road to adoption. I'm very excited for them. Like Shelley says, its not what she had planned 2 years ago, but you just cant put all of your eggs in one basket. I can't wait to see baby Whistler running around.

My parents are wonderful. I can't imagine how strong they are throughout everything 2009 has brought us. Some days it seems harder on them than others. But they seem to make it through. I just have to keep reminding myself that arguments are a part of marriage too..

I guess that's about it. Oh yeah, I graduated from college. Yup, I actually finished my degree. However, with everything that seems to be going on lately- my time to shine is on the back burner. So I'm just applying to as many jobs as I can (8 so far) and will go from there.

I love my family. No doubt. I do. I owe them the world, and Thank God everyday for them.
They are outstanding.

Happy Easter

Greetings Blog world "aka family"

Today is Easter Sunday. My favorite Holiday. I don't know if its the baskets or just the happiness that Christ has Risen. Truly amazing day.

On top of that today is Shelley's 25th Birthday! Happy Birthday Shell.

Life is going right now. I'm almost finished with Student Teaching! That means Graduation! May 9th, 1:30pm Texas Tech United Spirit Arena will be the sight of a glorious occasion. I will walk across that stage, move my tassel, turn my College ring around and walk out with the world ahead of me. Geebus thats scary.

I have big aspirations for me. I've started looking for some apartments in the area, however its only tentative because I need to know where I'm working first. However I do miss the "carefree" life college was. Already... Oh well.

Granny Jackie and Papa Dale are living with me and the family right now. He's almost 1\2 way done with his Proton Radiation. He's a true trooper or his treatments are just the right strength. It took some adjusting but we're in a routine, so life is good.

Shelley and Steve are on the project to pregnancy or parenting. Check their blog for updates.

I'm turning 23 in 25 days... needless to say I'm a little paranoid when it comes to that whole marriage thing for me. Now that I'm working I feel as if I don't have any time for meeting people or mingling. Maybe thats why teachers stay single if they don't have someone once they start their career.

but thats a whole nother post.

Happy Easter everyone - love ya'll

SIGH

I need to write.

I'm a dumb-ass. No clue how I'm going to make it on my own. I just feel like for every step forward I make as an adult, I take 2 backwards...


Oh Well. Sorry about the expensive mistake mom.

February of 2009 can kiss my @$$

Hello my two readers.. :) haha maybe there is more, I'll try to be more positive.

The majority of my closest friends and family are aware of the shambles Feb. has been so I'm only going to write about other stuff.

I just completed my student teaching at Llano ISD. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined the saddness I had leaving that school. I'm going to miss those directors like I do my family when I would leave for school. My perception of secondary band directing has completely flip flopped. I could do that for quite some time, and be happy about it. I owe that band a metal for reminding me why I wanted to be a Music Educator in the first place.

I start teaching at Deer Park Elem. tomorrow. I'm also very excited about that. I've already had some teaching with these aged kids, so I'm anxious to see how Houston area schools do it compared to Lubbock schools.

With the above statement, I guess its understood that I have moved home. Thats right, after 5 years - I finally got to unpack. (or am getting to) - I never thought I'd say this, but I find comfort at this point of my life to be where I'm at. I know its not too glamorous being a single 22 year old woman living with Mom and Dad, but I wouldn't change it for the world. However my stay here will hopefully be short lived, that with comes a job, comes a new apt for me and Tucker. *my puppy* -

I can't wait for spring break. To spend time with my family, and get further away from February.

Love and updates will come!
Em

Bucket List that Shelley did

The idea is to highlight or change the color of the things on the list you've completed.

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars. - I've been camping.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii. -
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyworld.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables. - back in Sagemont we did
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept in an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitchhiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort.

25. Held a lamb. --- I ate one once- don't worry it was cooked
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke. .
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt- am currently!.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.

80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.- fishing
88. Had chicken pox. -
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.- Clyde "The GLIDE" Drexler :)
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one. .
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Happy New Year!

Greetings blog world. Happy 2009.

Well i'm about to adventure into the world of teaching within the next week and might be a little scared, but I'm ready to get it over with.

We're recently back on land from the Voyager of the Seas and had a wonderful time. I had an absolute blast! My friend Shannon came with me and we embraced single life and truly enjoyed ourselves.

I will be student teaching in the Marble Falls area for the first half of the semester and here in the Houston area for the second half.

We're planning on a super family vacation spring break on the Carnival Victory. Eager doesn't even begin to explain how much I'm looking forward to that!

All is well!
- Em

What a shocking day...

Dear ----,
I got some interesting news about you today. When FAP called me to tell me what had been going on, I was broadsided. My heart sank in my chest, vomit crept up my throat, and tears welled up in my eyes... Its like a part of me died with that one conversation. Granted I know we don't see each other more than once a year, and that you are in fact 18 years old, but deep down I do see you as "little ----". Want to know why? Today, as I forced myself to go up to school to keep from breaking down, I thought about our lives together, and guess what... As much as I'd like to admit it, but the day you were born is (to my best knowledge) the first day I can remember my life... Shelby was hiding under my parent's bed, and (your sister) was over playing in the back yard with Shelley and I... I remember when your Mom and Dad brought you home to your house...
And to hear of you making monumental bad choices in your young adult life, breaks my heart. I never saw this coming.... I never once imagined you would get sucked into that crowd...
You had (hopefully still have) everything! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! WHY!! Your parents love you to death, my parents love you to death, your sister adores you, shelley and I adore you.... Do you have any idea what would happen to us if something happened to you? Do you even care about how that would make us feel? Damnit ---- you're better than that!!!!! I know there is nothing anyone can do to change what has happened in the past.. but Dear God I will spend every prayer I have, begging God to send some guidance for you... ITS NOT WORTH IT... NONE OF IT IS.

I pray that God touches you soon, scoops you up in his arms and slaps the shit out of you... learn from this, or else you'll never grow up and out of it....

That lifestyle you've been living, ----, is a one way ticket on the fastest train to nowhere.



My grandfather would give his left arm for a body to work as good as yours does.. even if it means just being able to walk around wal-mart... and here you are, killing yours? I don't get how ANY high could be worth that much... and maybe it is cause you're 18 that you don't see it...

Talk to God, Talk to your parents, and get new friends.
I love you, and hope the best
Emily

Guess I should update this thing

Here are some pictures from the TTU vs. UT game.. no i didnt go, but i have a lot of friends that did.




















Also, above is Mr. Anderson dressed up as Jack Sparrow - the band did pirates of the caribbean show.


Some exciting news. One of my old work friends doxie had puppies, and is giving them away! I'm getting one! a boy, he's black.. I'll post his picture.












Well its November of my last semester here at Tech. Senioritis doesn't begin to explain how I feel. School is going well, classes are easy. The house is good, I'm fairly healthy. The headache has subsided mostly, occasionally a few bad days, but all in all improving. I've been taking multi-vitamins per the endocrinologist's suggestion.

I would say that I'm having a ball these last few weeks of school. I really wish I could, but I really have found myself sad up here. I'm really tired of the people here. Mostly the school of music. Its like I'm in a different place than everyone else... I just want to be out of here...

I have my student teaching partially squared away. The first half of the spring, I will be student teaching at Llano High school. Living in Marble falls. I'm really looking forward to that. Still waiting on my Elementary placement, which should happen within this week I hope.

Headache update

Well, this morning in the sorry excuse of a Tropical storm, mom and I went to a neurologist here in town to see if I could get some relief.
The Doctor didn't seem too concerned with the pain I've been having but like everyone I've seen 3weeks is too long for a headache.
Turns out when all of this started chances are that my Great occipital nerve running from the base of my neck up through my scalp has gotten irritated causing the "between the skull and scalp" headache. Luckily the doctor had 2 fixes (would be three but ive already tried narcotics). 1st would be two injections to the base of the nerve of steroids and a numbing agent. 2nd would be a six day dose of oral steroids. So I took the injections there in the office, and I will wait a few days to see if I get some relief. BTW... scalp injections hurt BAD...
Now instead of my whole head hurting like it has, my pain is coming from the injection sites... Not sure if thats good or bad? So i'll update in a few days if this stuff works.. (i hope)


schools good, works good, parents are good- other than that my life is pretty swell... im just anxious to see if my 3 week headache is finally gone...

-em

update

Well today is day 15.... yup. 15....
no relief in fact, i think my head it getting worse...

I went to my dr. she seemed clueless but did tell me my scalp was really tense...
so I went and had a CT scan done today... it came back clean... which is great news..
but now.. why the headache? she told me to go see a Neurologist... so I go tuesday.. unfortunately.. I still don't have any relief from the pain...

I'll pay someone a nickel if they'll run over my head?

10 days

So today marks day 10 of my headache. It's not really a headache, more of my head just hurts. Right across the crown of my head. I've tried everything I can imagine to get rid of it. Tylenol, Tylenol sinus, claritin, sudafed, aleve, zyrtec, vicodin, and my moms super duper headache pills... no relief. I'm going to my primary care Doctor tomorrow afternoon to see what she thinks.... grrrrr.....

I'm in full swing at Alivn Community College taking US history 1301. Considering I'm one of the oldest people in my class and my professor is ancient I think I'll do okay. Along with class 8-10:15am I head over to FW Gartner where I'm working as a "fill-in" secretary for our family friend's business. Therefore my life is pretty much consumed up with school and work.

I'm glad to spend time home, but with my head issues its not so enjoyable. My parents, Shelley, and Steve have been my network here. I enjoy spending time with them these days, learning how to be an adult by their example.

The bonus to not feeling so well and working all the time is that I'm staying out of trouble. Minus the fact that some social life would be nice from time to time, but I just dont feel up to it lately.... so we'll see what the doctor says.


I had an MRI done on my "back hump" friday morning, seeing if it is a Lipoma (benign removeable tumor) or just in fact a place where my body stores fat. I should know something later this week into next week...

This past friday I went with Mom and dad down to Victoria to see Granny Jackie and PaPa Dale, their house looked great and of course I enjoyed spending time with them. Saturday we headed to Shiner where we stayed at our favorite Bed and Breakfast (Kaspar House) and attended the Boedeker\Jahnsen family reunion today and got back an hour or so ago. It was great to see Granny Martha, Dad, Susie, and Aunt Neese spending time reminiscing with family. I love my family, both sides... I guess after the year we've had, I'm really trying to take full advantage of each moment I have with them...

Thats all for now. Till I write again...

Emily

A Sad Day

I know not many people read this, and most of the time I'm rambling about the ups and downs of my life.

This morning, I got news that a friend of the family, Joe Miller, passed away. He was fighting stage 4 lung cancer with cancerous lesions on his liver. Joe was an active band parent throughout mine and my sister's HS career. His daughter Elizabeth was Shelley's college dorm room-mate.

I'm happy that Joe doesn't hurt anymore, I'm glad that he is at peace. I am however, sad for Joanne (his wife), Elizabethe, and Andrew (his son). I hope the best for them in this really hard time in their lives. I can't imagine what I would do if I was in there shoes. I pray to God that I won't have to find that out.

On a somewhat funny note, I'm actually considering grad school, just considering. Med school maybe... something that would let me help out with someone in need. It might be in Music Therapy, who knows. I just know, that within the past year cancer has shown up more and more frequently with relatives and friends, and I'm not liking it. So maybe I can find a way for me to help... We'll see..

So if you are one of the people who read this blog of mine, please keep the Miller family in your thoughts.

-Emily Gene

just kidding

everyone has flaws... im seeing more and more every day
in myself and in others...

grades- spring 2008

3.4 gpa this semester!! :-) my best yet!! so excited!

much needed update

Hello there again, trusty blog...

The semester is finally winding down, and I can't be more excited.... I'm honored to say that I had my last class registration this past week and only have 11 required hours for the fall, and 6 this summer... however in order to maintain my "full time student" status, i had to add on one more hour so that will make my fall 12 hrs! :) my lightest load yet.. all that and the 6 hours for student teaching in the spring...

so speaking of school.. its stupid- im tired of doing all the work, and not really feeling like im getting a whole bunch out of it.. but the adult in me is saying just do what you're told and get it done...so thats my goal for the rest of my time here at tech...

i'm still enjoying the nightlife of fancy ol' Lubbock Tx... more so I'm trying my best to take advantage of $1 pint nights and $.75 well nights... haha

spring break was a blast with the family...however i find myself turning into more of an old hag... going to bed at 11 sounded more fun than hanging out with all the belligerent minors in the club... i know i have no room to talk because I was once one of them...but looking back on it, i was dumb...

thats pretty much it for now... school is priority one- ill worry about everything else later... haha

much love!
Em

Thursday's post- TMEA

So as the ones close to me know (or used to be close) last year Feb. 13-17th brought a new meaning to the term "coming clean".
After that "fateful" trip, I was asked to a local coffee shop by a dear dear friend, and proceeded to have an in depth conversation about personality traits, friendship traits, and even relationship traits. In this conversation a lot of things both good and bad were brought to my attention. However, the repercussions of that infamous Thursday Feb. 22, have really seem to take its toll on me. This past Thursday being the 1 year anniversary.

Why I bring up this moment of my life? Well, for the the most recent times of my social life now I have been blessed with some amazing people. Unfortunately I suppose this time of year for the friends I care about most, seem to kinda leave me in the blue.

So alas, its now the 2nd year in a row, where I have been broadsided with a change in my best guy friend on the Thursday after TMEA.

I wouldn't change a thing about the times I spent with 2007 friend. They are some of the happiest memories in my life. But sometimes the pain of the impact doesn't show up until long after the wreck.

I just wish I could have had one more memory, one more laugh, one last dance, and one last hug.


*a very very very scarred emily*

foot

just severely bruised,
thank god
still hurts like a bitch