Guess what

In a simple 6 days, I will be going to Italy.. amazing.

I can't believe it, almost I can't imagine it... 24 years old, and I'm already working on my bucket list.. I wonder what will be my new number 1 will be... haha maybe to spend more than a week there will be the next one.

I wonder what it'll be like over there? I wonder who I'll meet? Such wonder, and excitement. Add another side of nerves\fear and you have my emotions.

It's going to be amazing.. i can't wait.

My dream

I wish I lived a life of infinite funds, a job with no stress, and the freedom to take time off and travel whenever the urge hits.

I wish my life was filled with honest friends who didn't make me "work" at the friendship, I could go out with them and not worry about awkward relationship situations and no issues about families.

I wish my family had their dreams come true, that our lives could mirror each other.

I wish that movie situations were real. That the "happy ending" really does come true, and it IS possible for you to find love the sappy romantic way.

I wish there was no cancer in the world, its a horrible disease and just hurts everyone.

How can I make this dream come true, as fast as possible?

-pondering-Emily

miss my papa

Yes, I still have my blog

Hello blog readers, it is I, Emily, back from a 6 month hiatus.

I am writing this sitting on my red couch of MY house. Yes, I Emily B.-24 am a home owner! It happened in May, 25th actually, I closed on my house. Its a 1410 sq ft, 3br\2bath home. Corner lot, large back yard, 2 car garage, and the perfect starter house for me.

I have a room-mate, against popular opinion, my Granny (Martha) is my room mate. What social goodness does that bring me (single 24 year old) well, I understand that this could be a hassle when it comes to dating life, but I'm very confident that its the best decision.

Granny had been living in an apartment for 10 years, now lets do the math... 10 years at 500 a month average for rent... 50K?? or, live with me in my house. Pay the same as she was paying the apartment for rent, with NO BILLS. AND it helps me out with my mortgage and equity. -WIN

On top of that, she's 77 years old- and this has her in a home that she's safe at and it gives my family a piece of mind that she's got someone with her.
And it doesnt hurt that she loves to do laundry, clean, and cook. haha - :)

So thats whats going on in my living situation haha.

--Next update--
At the end of July, I signed up at LA fitness here in Pearland. Got a trainer and I have been working towards a healthier me since. I go in this week for my first Month's evaluation. Here's to hoping for results.

Now, why now you ask? --> This Thanksgiving I Emily B and my cousin Eilene M. will be embarking on a Mediterranean CRUISE!!!!

From Bari, Italy- and headed around to Croatia, Turkey, and Greece! - We will end up back in Venice and i can't wait.

So if I'm going all the way over there, I'm going to look good when I go!!

-School starts Tuesday for the kiddos, so I have one more work day to get my new classroom ready. That was a whole debacle (however you spell that) but its over and I have a new room.

so thats where my life is at the moment. I'm happy with it, content, and excited to my future.

-Hope this update isnt too lengthly, and enjoyable.

Emily-
ps. I still miss papa so much

March

Dearest Blog world...

Well, March has finally drawn to a close...

8 more weeks till school is out!!

Work is well... work...

Spring break was phenomenal! Costa Atlantica. FLL to St thomas, san juan, and nassau. Great fun. Met some cool people. Danced a ton!

Looking for a new house!! Hopefully will find one soon. One month before I need to tell my apt complex I'm moving out..

Ready for Easter weekend in MF. Sleeping in and good food = awesome.

-Better update should come soon--

Em

Sad

Dear Papa,

I thought about you so much today. Ended up bawling in the bath tub. I just miss you so much. I guess enough time has lapsed now to where I want to see you, hear your voice, and feel your big squeeze hug.

I hope I'm making you proud. I voted today, I think thats what has my mind on you. Remember you telling me that it was my civic duty to this country to vote. Well, I remembered... and I know you're happy.

Do you miss me as much as I miss you? In a way I hope so, but I hope you're happier than I am. I miss your reassurance that I'm a good person, and that I'm the best Emily Gene there is. I know I should just tell myself that, but its hard to hear it in your own head.

I've been writing Jackie almost every week. Might have missed 3 or so. But I still think thats good. Mom is doing a good job checking in with her. She seem's to be doing well, but I can tell she misses you a lot too..

Goodness PaPa, I miss you... I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream it loud enough for you to hear....

I dont know why this has come over me today... just a timing thing I guess..

I hope you're proud of me. I'm proud of myself which i can hear you in my mind saying "then thats me being proud of you too"- but it sounds so much better coming out of your mouth than the memory of your voice in my head.

I love you more than words.
Em

----------------

WHY do our emotions do this to us? Lay dorment for a while then in 1 day, BAM- they all come running out...

Sorry family, if this makes you sad too. I just needed to get it out.

Em

Here's my update

deleted

post-thanksgiving update

Eesh, where to begin.

Thanksgiving week has been a whirlwind... Started it off by going out dancing, followed by a relaxing day cleaning my apartment with Mom and looking for a new CAR!!! Well, got the ball rolling on a car and found one I liked, but needed a little while to get the financing available... Sunday Dad and I left for Lake Charles, where we lost our money, but had a great time. Monday night we had dinner at my Great Aunt\Uncle's house in LC - loved it!

Tuesday dad and I woke up early and came back to Texas, where... I GOT MY NEW CAR! I'm the proud owner of a 2010 Ford Fusion SEL - Sandstone Metallic with Camel colored leather interior. This car (for Ford) has awesome features and a nice V6 engine!

Had lunch with Dad and Shelley in Pearland then I headed up to Marble Falls to intercept mom and jackie. We enjoyed the day, however I (at this point) have picked up a horrendous cough\fever\ickyness... (as I was finishing up a Z pack too... bleh)

Thanksgiving was great minus the sickness, couldn't spoil the babies (JR and Hayden) with my love and goofy noises without a mask on.

**I almost went home today, but as I sit here listening to the TTU football game with Mom, Dad, Shelley, Steve, Jackie, Schultze, Tucker, Gretal, Radar, Bella, and myself I feel this strange warmth over us. All safe, all sound. Life is good. Something in the back of my mind says that PaPa has something to do with this....Its his comfort that I am feeling.. I'm glad I didn't go home today**

I still miss you PaPa

Emily Gene

Happy Thanksgiving

Greetings Blogger reader(s)!

I hope all is well in your world...

Where to begin....work is work.
Family is fantastic. I am truly BLESSED to have the parents I do, the siblings I do, and of course the WONDERFUL grand-mothers that I do.
We're still healing and missing PaPa Dale. I am a lot, as each day gets easier the random tears become less and less.

I'm looking to purchase my 1st car on my own!! 2010 Ford Fusion SEL Pictures will be posted if financing goes through along with availability. IM SUPER EXCITED!

I'm headed to Lake Charles tomorrow with my Dad for a mini-vacation! Very excited, then we'll head to Marble Falls for some of Jackie's good cookin! Hoping I can get in on the dressing secerets this year.

I love my family, they are my best friends, my confidants, my everything. 2009 has not been the happiest of years, but to look back on how much closer Mom, Dad, Shelley, Steve, Jackie, Martha, and I are to each other. I realize (on a day like today) that life is truly good. Not always easy or fun, but life is good.

Thanks PaPa - something tells me, you had a say in that realization for me. Miss you-

Emily Gene

Appalled and Disgusted

I have never in my life had to remove myself from a situation on terms of me breaking my own morals.

Today, that happened. An unfortunate incident while in Victoria mourning the loss of my grandfather.

Sometimes the cat does need to come out of the bag. I'm not going to do it on here, because A. That is not mature B. right now it is about support not degrading and C. I must respect people older than me.


But hear me... If one more straw gets pulled, I'm unleashing 2 years worth of anger and remorse towards those who deserve it. I'm packing up, and headed back to Houston. Even if I have to pay out the ass for a rental car.

This might be hard to read for some-- just a warning

PaPa Dale passed away last night, more details later... but today (Thursday oct 8 2009) I wrote him a letter and emailed it to his facebook. This is what it read.

Hey PaPa,
You fell asleep last night around 10:00, to embark on the happiest adventure yet.
I'm sad you're gone, but thrilled that you aren't hurting any more.
Thank you so much for giving me my Mom. You have left a great legacy of love support and care behind. Don't worry too much about Jackie, she can be my date to events. I'll hold her hand like you did, and help her up out of her chair like you did.
You were my most favorite teacher I've ever had in my life. Your words will live within my every being every day. I really listened and heard what you had to say and tried to take as many mental notes as possible.
So you know PaPa, your favorite song? "How Great Thou Art" well, today, I finally heard it too. The part I think you sang when you fell asleep.
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,How great Thou art, How great Thou art.Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
I hope its wonderful up there, haha- give your sisters a great big hugs, say hi to Ace, Clara, and Richard Sr.
I won't see you for some time, but do know that I will meet you there. Only after teaching the lessons you taught me to as many people as possible.
I love you with all my heart, I will miss you every day, but I will have comfort knowing you're watching over us.
I owe you a Coors light when I get up there.
Love always,Emily Gene

I'm not sure what to title this entry. Me being who I am, and my family knows me. I am going to have a very personal entry here. Please read with an open mind.

My life at the moment...

I feel alone. Yes, the alone does come into part with me being single, but then goes beyond that. In my family I am alone. 98% of family functions I sit alone or do chores to keep busy. Feel kind of like a chameleon (however you spell that). I blend into the surroundings to not be noticed, then overlooked.

This past year *2009* has been a roller coaster of emotion for my family. Lots of downs and a few ups. That being said, I find myself in the corner of most family events sitting alone contemplating where I'm at.

5 times out of 10 my family's conversations revolve around my sister and brother-in-laws adoption. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy they have the ball rolling on expanding their family. They're going to be great parents. But in line with the adoption comes Shelley looking for a new job, which she got, Steve doing really well at his work, and them becoming parents. I'm so happy for them and love them with all my heart.

the other 3 times out of 10 comes my PaPa's battle with lung cancer. A horrible disease that has caused nothing but stress in my family. PaPa is amazing because I don't think I've once heard him complain. Call me selfish, cause its what I am being. I know it. He's not going to be here forever, but why dwell on it? When PaPa pops into my thoughts during the day, the word Cancer doesn't pop up in my head. The word LOVE does. Thats the way it should be. I worry about my family only seeing him as a cancer patient. Not a loving family figure with lots of good hugs, stories, and smiles still left in him. Cause thats who he is.

The final 2 times out of 10 comes babies. I don't understand why this is a big deal to me, since children are so far down on my list of things to do in my life, but a part of my heart aches when I hear family talk about babies. Like I don't have anything fun and exciting to talk about so they move on to something else.

That leaves me. I'm apprehensive to discuss my real stresses of life because blogs are open to whoever wants to read them. Mostly in regards to my job. I absolutely LOVE my Principles, fellow Faculty\Staff members at my school. They are AMAZING. I mean wow! They leave me speechless every day. And thats all I have to say about my job.

It just seems that everything I am doing in my life right now, has already been done. There is no "spark". I don't feel I have the exciting life I had hoped coming out of college and starting my career. I feel like a light-bulb just about to go out. Still providing some light, but not lighting up a room as a person with the whole world at her doorstep should.

I'm still longing for companionship. A hopeless romantic at heart, the time I sit in my apartment I stare off into space wondering what life would be like to have someone by my side on rainy days like today. Someone who would want to spend this kind of down time with me, watching tv while I cleaned, hell someone to just sit around and have a beer with and shoot the sh*#. (That isn't someone in my family.)

That and also letting go of a comfort. I find myself stuck in a rut I don't want to get out of, but I know I need to. Something that I'm afraid to let go of, but I have no idea why. Almost like I'm holding onto a glimmer of hope that one day things could work out. Even if I agree that right now is not the right time. I don't know why I feel that way. I wish I didn't. Trust me, I've tried to get rid of it. BLEH

Call me selfish if you like. Like I said, I probably am. But I just wish even the little things that seem to happen in my life could compare to the things happening in other peoples lives. Even if theirs aren't the most positive things to have happening.

Please blog readers, don't be offended by this, and I honestly don't mind things to stay the way they are, but I would like to at least voice how I feel. Guess thats why I've put off updating this for so long.

Chapter 1- A successful failure

August 17, 2009-

Today marks the first official day for Tucker being alone. He got a visit from my sister this afternoon for a mid-day bathroom break. Aside from being so excited, he might have had a little accident when she went to put the leash on him. Regardless, he's successfully making the transition from house dog to apartment dog. Therefore, The dog that is afraid of being alone, might make it through this in some way shape or form.

Today I had my first inservice at my job. I can't remember the last time I tried to learn names so fast. Some teachers seem really cool, some are a little over the top, and some are pretty quiet. Either way, I'm happy to have my own place in a school. My school is neat because its actually quite old, then again its well kept.

Aside from that, I'm sitting on my couch in the exact same spot where I started this little adventure. Starting up the swing of school, I am unfortunately not working out as planned. That lasted for a whole, um. Day. Granted, it will probably be easier to find a rhythm during school. Thus that is a failure.

Not quite a full chapter, but yet an update will suffice.

Prolouge- The Dog That Hates Being Alone

A recent graduate from Texas Tech University, I am embarking on the chance of a lifetime. I'm self-sufficient, educated, employed, and 100% single. My life has been a wonderful rollercoaster, full of its ups and downs. My family is my life. I come from two lovely parents, (Dad=Dennis - Mom= Phyllis) who have fufilled their parental duties to raise 2 daughters, educate them, and give them the tools needed to "fly" at the right time. Speaking of that, I have an older sister-Shelley, she's about 2 years older than me, and is married to a wonderful man- Stephen.

Its Sunday evening, I'm sitting on the couch at my new apartment. It is a small one bedroom apartment near Houston TX. A queen size bed, comfortable enough for royalty! New couch and ottoman, kitchen table, and computer. I still have boxes left to unpack, mostly in the study. Pretty much everything else is taken care of.
Tucker is my 10 month old Dachshund, who weighs an impressive 7.6 pounds. He's sleeping by my side, curled up underneath my red blanket. Tucker hasn't quite adjusted to the move yet, his idea of fun here consists of following me around the apartment, howling when I leave, or scratching the front door until I come home. Almost like that when I leave, he'll never have a friend again. Odd, but we're working on it. I just think he hates being alone.
I am about to start my career as an Elementary Music Teacher. I am very excited about the upcoming year; however, I am nervous about the social life. Unlike most girls in the world I'm not your typical girl. I hide behind my family, my jokes, and my overall bubbly personality. Finding strength that I never knew I had to be happy with my life. It is typical for women\girls of a "plus size" stature to long for the Fairy Tale love story. Well, guess what, I am one of those girls.
Don't get me wrong, at 23 I have had the wonderful opportunity to meet some great men in my life. Heck, being a tuba player most of my closest friends are boys. I have toiled with the idea of an Emily overhaul for about a year now, and always wanting to write- this has to be my best idea yet.
As tomorrow starts a new week, I'm starting a new chapter into my adventurous adulthood. To work with Tucker on being alone, we will try a 20 minute window of alone time while I Emily, will be working out.

I got a job at Pomeroy Elementary in Pasadena ISD.

I've got an apartment.

Job Hunt Continues

Here are the places I've applied and the status' that I know of.

1. Deer Park ISD -Elementary Interviewed-> waiting for news
2. Pasadena ISD- Elem. Application Acitve
3. Angleton ISD- HS Application Active
4. Clear Creek ISD- HS Applied
5. Lamar Consolidated ISD- HS Applied
6. Galena Park ISD- Elem. Applied
7. Barbers Hill ISD-HS Applied
8. Pearland ISD- HS Applied
9. Texas City ISD- Elem. Applied
10. Alvin ISD- Elem Applied
11. Spring Branch ISD- HS Applied


whew- more to come I'm sure

Lost in the moment

Dearest Blog.

I'm sorry I have not been faithful. Life as I know it has been, well... different.

Glorious thing happens tomorrow. My 80 year old grandfather completes his 37-procedure proton radiation at MD Anderson. Not only is he practically symptom free, but he's happy. 1- he gets to go home and spend time, well... at home. 2- this has been an incredible learning experience for everyone, and if you know PaPa he's a damn good teacher. 3- this should yield excellent results for now.

Thursday my cousin Mikey and his wife Rachel, will welcome Baby Gaskamp into the world. I'll have a 2nd cousin, and my grandparents will get to see a GREAT-GRANDBABY! :)

Shelley and Steve are looking down the road to adoption. I'm very excited for them. Like Shelley says, its not what she had planned 2 years ago, but you just cant put all of your eggs in one basket. I can't wait to see baby Whistler running around.

My parents are wonderful. I can't imagine how strong they are throughout everything 2009 has brought us. Some days it seems harder on them than others. But they seem to make it through. I just have to keep reminding myself that arguments are a part of marriage too..

I guess that's about it. Oh yeah, I graduated from college. Yup, I actually finished my degree. However, with everything that seems to be going on lately- my time to shine is on the back burner. So I'm just applying to as many jobs as I can (8 so far) and will go from there.

I love my family. No doubt. I do. I owe them the world, and Thank God everyday for them.
They are outstanding.

Happy Easter

Greetings Blog world "aka family"

Today is Easter Sunday. My favorite Holiday. I don't know if its the baskets or just the happiness that Christ has Risen. Truly amazing day.

On top of that today is Shelley's 25th Birthday! Happy Birthday Shell.

Life is going right now. I'm almost finished with Student Teaching! That means Graduation! May 9th, 1:30pm Texas Tech United Spirit Arena will be the sight of a glorious occasion. I will walk across that stage, move my tassel, turn my College ring around and walk out with the world ahead of me. Geebus thats scary.

I have big aspirations for me. I've started looking for some apartments in the area, however its only tentative because I need to know where I'm working first. However I do miss the "carefree" life college was. Already... Oh well.

Granny Jackie and Papa Dale are living with me and the family right now. He's almost 1\2 way done with his Proton Radiation. He's a true trooper or his treatments are just the right strength. It took some adjusting but we're in a routine, so life is good.

Shelley and Steve are on the project to pregnancy or parenting. Check their blog for updates.

I'm turning 23 in 25 days... needless to say I'm a little paranoid when it comes to that whole marriage thing for me. Now that I'm working I feel as if I don't have any time for meeting people or mingling. Maybe thats why teachers stay single if they don't have someone once they start their career.

but thats a whole nother post.

Happy Easter everyone - love ya'll

SIGH

I need to write.

I'm a dumb-ass. No clue how I'm going to make it on my own. I just feel like for every step forward I make as an adult, I take 2 backwards...


Oh Well. Sorry about the expensive mistake mom.

February of 2009 can kiss my @$$

Hello my two readers.. :) haha maybe there is more, I'll try to be more positive.

The majority of my closest friends and family are aware of the shambles Feb. has been so I'm only going to write about other stuff.

I just completed my student teaching at Llano ISD. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined the saddness I had leaving that school. I'm going to miss those directors like I do my family when I would leave for school. My perception of secondary band directing has completely flip flopped. I could do that for quite some time, and be happy about it. I owe that band a metal for reminding me why I wanted to be a Music Educator in the first place.

I start teaching at Deer Park Elem. tomorrow. I'm also very excited about that. I've already had some teaching with these aged kids, so I'm anxious to see how Houston area schools do it compared to Lubbock schools.

With the above statement, I guess its understood that I have moved home. Thats right, after 5 years - I finally got to unpack. (or am getting to) - I never thought I'd say this, but I find comfort at this point of my life to be where I'm at. I know its not too glamorous being a single 22 year old woman living with Mom and Dad, but I wouldn't change it for the world. However my stay here will hopefully be short lived, that with comes a job, comes a new apt for me and Tucker. *my puppy* -

I can't wait for spring break. To spend time with my family, and get further away from February.

Love and updates will come!
Em

Bucket List that Shelley did

The idea is to highlight or change the color of the things on the list you've completed.

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars. - I've been camping.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii. -
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyworld.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables. - back in Sagemont we did
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept in an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitchhiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort.

25. Held a lamb. --- I ate one once- don't worry it was cooked
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke. .
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt- am currently!.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.

80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.- fishing
88. Had chicken pox. -
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.- Clyde "The GLIDE" Drexler :)
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one. .
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.