Back to where I started

One of my friends posted a picture of her husband on Facebook and captioned it "I'm so smitten with him".

I stopped, read it, and re-read it. How lucky it is to find your true love. To meet someone, and realize you'd do anything for that person. That waking up next to them every day is the only thing that matters. I'm envious.

So the butterflies I miss. It's not that. It's the "smitten-ness" I want. I want to be mind blowingly head over heals in love.

One of my good friends told me today, that in order to get there, I have to open myself up to let someone in. I never thought of myself as closed off, but then I thought about it.

I always find an excuse with guys, they're too this or too that. Not enough this, not enough that. And I go back to my "safe place"... my family. I hide in my family. Now, please don't get me wrong, I adore them and love every minute I spend with them. But I'm starting to realize I most likely use them as a cover or protection so I don't have to worry about my heart getting broken.

So how to fix this???

Em