Where do I begin?

Hello everyone. I'm not sure where to begin.

On this warm January 27, I'm sitting in my PJs watching the pro-bowl at my parent's house. I'm dog sitting Tucker and Perry Mason while they are on the Carnival Magic for Mom's birthday cruise.

I enjoy the pro-bowl because the players just seem to have fun. I like that its not a stressful game, just fun.

There has been a lot on my mind\plate lately. I've become a hermit because of it. Its been weeks since I've "gone out" with friends, just been sitting at home or hanging with my family.
I don't care for airing out my dirty laundry in the cyber world, but I do feel like blogging about the generalities might be therapeutic.


My Burdens:
-Men. I dare post his name on here: Lance ended up not being the man for me. After our talk on the 1st, he and I continued in the middle area and even attempted a small trip together. However plans fell through, last minute. We went out for drinks after that, and I've never heard from him since. A tough pill to swallow, I deleted his number after my last text message went unanswered. A tearful evening that was, but it was for the best. I haven't cried any more, and I'm thinking that could be a contributing factor to my dark days lately.

-Colorado. A state I actually enjoy, think it is beautiful and I like to visit. But right now its the state from hell. A potential move for my sister, brother-in-law, and princess neice. This is still in negotiation with my brother-in-law's company. But my heart is shattered. My brain knows that this is best for them and their little family, but my heart is selfish as you see in these posts. I do know that my lack of social life with friends being taken over by family time is because I want to make sure Evie knows her auntie Em loves her more than anyone else in the world. Even more than myself.

-Work. Parts of work. Thats all I have to say about that.

- Retirement. Mom and Dad have mentioned retirement more and more lately. This is not a burden exactly, because I'm so excited that Dad would finally have the opportunity to move to Marble Falls the way he's dreamt about for the past 10 years. My concerns is with the Colorado move, them moving. I'm left here.

-Friends. I have some incredible people in my life. There are few that I've kept heavy on my heart these past few weeks. Once again, brain knows to be supportive and a set of ears. My heart is selfish and wants everyone home and\or doing the right thing.

-Myself. I wish I had the desire to get back to the gym like I was a couple years ago. I think I'm getting close to getting there because its been on my heart so much. Something I know I can fix instantly. 90% of life is showing up, 10% is what you do once you're there. So I guess walking into the doors would be the best first step to solve this burden.

-House. I love my house, it's perfect for me. I just feel like its not mine. Not sure why, it just doesn't feel like mine. Wonder what I could do to feel that way.

My Blessings:
-Family. Even with the geography of my family possibly changing, I'm super blessed to have a family I'm so close to, to even been upset if they move.

-Friends. Like I said, I have a great support group around me and really wonderful people who listen to me when I complain, laugh with me when I'm not, and come to me for help.

-Home. I love my house, its not perfect but its home.

-Job. Even on my worst days, I try to remember that there is someone out there that would give their right arm to have a school year's worth of "rough days" than not have a job. -I need to repeat this every day-

So blog world, there you have it. A rough outline as to what's been going on in my life. My head hurts after writing this. Feel free to offer input, I will try to update on how I overcome these burdens and add more things to my blessings list.

Off to bed.
Mallet Madness at work this week... breathing.

E.