Sometimes Im really torn. Right now, I'm not wanting to be alone, but don't know who I want to hang out with. I'm sitting in my room with the door shut, kind of zoned out in lala land.
I'm 25, single. With every desire to find Mr. Right, but no willingness to find him.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
Summer 2011
Hello there blog. Sorry I've neglected you. Seems I've lost my knack to write as much these days.
Tomorrow I'm going back to Pomeroy for year 3 of my teaching career. However this year comes with fear, regret, anticipation, expectations, and loathing. Last year for my school was really rough. Not sugar coating anything, but it pretty much sucked for the teachers. For the students you ask? Well, they had the best year they've had in over 5 years. So, maybe through all the crud we teachers went through, actually did the trick.
I've prayed a lot this summer, for a new job teaching old students band. Inspired by the music I miss the most I found myself crying uncontrollably listening to the Marches played 4th of July. Yet, with everything in the world as it is these days, I did not receive a call back or interview for most of the jobs I applied.
Heartbreaking and upsetting I wonder why? I've done everything I can do make sure I've improved my career, my own education, and not breaking the rules. Yet my prayers weren't answered.
Then I got mad. Why God, why don't you want me to be happy with my job? Then I realized, that in God's infinite wisdom and wittiness, I bet there is a lesson for me at Pomeroy. If I can return this year, keep trying and doing my best, I might just find happiness there. We all know it wont be easy, but if I can be happy in a place I've despised before, then no matter where I end up in the next years. I know I can rise above any loathing, frustrations, and politics that come with other jobs.
-kind of like "unanswered prayers" - There has to be a reason for me to be there this year. I know it.
Money.
Such an irritating subject for me this summer.I'm Not struggling, but not getting ahead as fast as I want. I wish I felt more like an adult when it comes to finances, but somehow I always feel like a teenager with a salary income.. not sure I can handle it correctly. I asked my mom if the worry of bills ever stops.. she said "no, then you have kids and it quadruples in a minute". She's very smart.
Harry Potter
What a shame I missed out on the craze these past 10 years. I've always kind of turned my nose up to the thought of these books and movies. Then, I watched a movie with my sister and I realized what I'd been missing out on. So I watched the last installment that came out this summer and left the theater completely confused and intrigued. So I became a reading machine and knocked out all 7 books in a week and a half. Not an easy feat considering how slow of a reader I am. I sit here having gone and seen the last movie the second time this evening. Blown away by JK Rowling's imagination. I could only DREAM of creating such a world in my mind so vivid enough to put it into words. THEN that being interesting enough to be made into movies. I believe she has to be the most creative person to ever walk this planet and I'm so glad she shared her talents with the world.
Having been so blown away by the Harry Potter (HP) books\movies it has inspired me to do a bit of research into my next travels. As most of you know, HP is set in London and other parts of Europe. So I'm hoping to pay the city a visit in June 2012. Maybe Scotland, Ireland, Germany, and might as well see some more Italy while I'm there. Yet that goes back to the whole $ fiasco. SAVE SAVE SAVE is all that's on my mind these days.
So where does this leave me as Summer 2011 comes to an end...
I'm still 25, single, working out, Elem music teacher. Who loves to dance, sing, spend time with her family, travel, laugh, eat, and day dream.
I want to be a part of something huge. Not Harry Potter huge, but something important. So many things have impacted my life, whether it be Jemima Jones, Harry Potter, My parents, my teachers, Twilight, friendships, kisses, deaths,cruises, flights, road-trips, births, siblings, or even the people who I've (regrettably) wished bad things upon. They've all made huge impacts on my life in miraculous ways. Now I'm sure they can say I did the same for them, but I want to pay it forward for generations to come. I want to give the world something that makes them stop and think "Man, I want to meet her and say "hey, you changed my life"- as I would to the people of my past.
So I leave you with this Blog readers:
Goals come and go, people do the same. an imagination is your best therapist. sometimes we must learn to be happy in an unhappy situation in order for us to move onto new things.
- Don't give up because it's hard. Stick with it to figure out it's easy. -Emily B.
I miss my Papas every day, and love the ones still here madly.
-Much love, a forever learning:
Emily
Tomorrow I'm going back to Pomeroy for year 3 of my teaching career. However this year comes with fear, regret, anticipation, expectations, and loathing. Last year for my school was really rough. Not sugar coating anything, but it pretty much sucked for the teachers. For the students you ask? Well, they had the best year they've had in over 5 years. So, maybe through all the crud we teachers went through, actually did the trick.
I've prayed a lot this summer, for a new job teaching old students band. Inspired by the music I miss the most I found myself crying uncontrollably listening to the Marches played 4th of July. Yet, with everything in the world as it is these days, I did not receive a call back or interview for most of the jobs I applied.
Heartbreaking and upsetting I wonder why? I've done everything I can do make sure I've improved my career, my own education, and not breaking the rules. Yet my prayers weren't answered.
Then I got mad. Why God, why don't you want me to be happy with my job? Then I realized, that in God's infinite wisdom and wittiness, I bet there is a lesson for me at Pomeroy. If I can return this year, keep trying and doing my best, I might just find happiness there. We all know it wont be easy, but if I can be happy in a place I've despised before, then no matter where I end up in the next years. I know I can rise above any loathing, frustrations, and politics that come with other jobs.
-kind of like "unanswered prayers" - There has to be a reason for me to be there this year. I know it.
Money.
Such an irritating subject for me this summer.I'm Not struggling, but not getting ahead as fast as I want. I wish I felt more like an adult when it comes to finances, but somehow I always feel like a teenager with a salary income.. not sure I can handle it correctly. I asked my mom if the worry of bills ever stops.. she said "no, then you have kids and it quadruples in a minute". She's very smart.
Harry Potter
What a shame I missed out on the craze these past 10 years. I've always kind of turned my nose up to the thought of these books and movies. Then, I watched a movie with my sister and I realized what I'd been missing out on. So I watched the last installment that came out this summer and left the theater completely confused and intrigued. So I became a reading machine and knocked out all 7 books in a week and a half. Not an easy feat considering how slow of a reader I am. I sit here having gone and seen the last movie the second time this evening. Blown away by JK Rowling's imagination. I could only DREAM of creating such a world in my mind so vivid enough to put it into words. THEN that being interesting enough to be made into movies. I believe she has to be the most creative person to ever walk this planet and I'm so glad she shared her talents with the world.
Having been so blown away by the Harry Potter (HP) books\movies it has inspired me to do a bit of research into my next travels. As most of you know, HP is set in London and other parts of Europe. So I'm hoping to pay the city a visit in June 2012. Maybe Scotland, Ireland, Germany, and might as well see some more Italy while I'm there. Yet that goes back to the whole $ fiasco. SAVE SAVE SAVE is all that's on my mind these days.
So where does this leave me as Summer 2011 comes to an end...
I'm still 25, single, working out, Elem music teacher. Who loves to dance, sing, spend time with her family, travel, laugh, eat, and day dream.
I want to be a part of something huge. Not Harry Potter huge, but something important. So many things have impacted my life, whether it be Jemima Jones, Harry Potter, My parents, my teachers, Twilight, friendships, kisses, deaths,cruises, flights, road-trips, births, siblings, or even the people who I've (regrettably) wished bad things upon. They've all made huge impacts on my life in miraculous ways. Now I'm sure they can say I did the same for them, but I want to pay it forward for generations to come. I want to give the world something that makes them stop and think "Man, I want to meet her and say "hey, you changed my life"- as I would to the people of my past.
So I leave you with this Blog readers:
Goals come and go, people do the same. an imagination is your best therapist. sometimes we must learn to be happy in an unhappy situation in order for us to move onto new things.
- Don't give up because it's hard. Stick with it to figure out it's easy. -Emily B.
I miss my Papas every day, and love the ones still here madly.
-Much love, a forever learning:
Emily
Saturday, June 18, 2011
I'm gonna get there some day...
Dierks said it best with this song.
Well its been a year and there so much to tell
been doing alright in spite of myself
just wish i could stop feeling bad when i pray
But I know I'm gonna get there someday
Got that job I was dreaming about
sometimes its tough traveling around
but who i wanna be still seems so far away
but i know i'm gonna get there someday
glad i told you all i meant to
while i had the chance
cause every moment i had with you
made me who i am
by the way, i met someone new
and wouldn't you know, she's a whole lot like you
still i ain't ready to settle down in one place
but i know i'm gonna get there someday
well i guess i'll be movin on
i'll just leave these daisies by your stone
and momma, i still miss you every day
but i know i'm gonna get there someday
when that'll be, guess only God can say
but i know i'm gonna get there someday
I'm struggling right now with the troubled work life, the singleness, lack of social life... this too shall pass, but its sucks tonight. 25, single, best shape of my life, and im at home listening to country music on pandora, wishing i had a dance partner.
Well its been a year and there so much to tell
been doing alright in spite of myself
just wish i could stop feeling bad when i pray
But I know I'm gonna get there someday
Got that job I was dreaming about
sometimes its tough traveling around
but who i wanna be still seems so far away
but i know i'm gonna get there someday
glad i told you all i meant to
while i had the chance
cause every moment i had with you
made me who i am
by the way, i met someone new
and wouldn't you know, she's a whole lot like you
still i ain't ready to settle down in one place
but i know i'm gonna get there someday
well i guess i'll be movin on
i'll just leave these daisies by your stone
and momma, i still miss you every day
but i know i'm gonna get there someday
when that'll be, guess only God can say
but i know i'm gonna get there someday
I'm struggling right now with the troubled work life, the singleness, lack of social life... this too shall pass, but its sucks tonight. 25, single, best shape of my life, and im at home listening to country music on pandora, wishing i had a dance partner.
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Take this job and shove it
The school year ended!!!! I'm alive and not in jail!
I had an interview at a Middle School in my district 5th\6th grade campus. It's 2 potential jobs. 1. Band Director, or 2. Asst band\orchestra director.
Please pray I hear something this week. I can't wait to become a band director one day, I just hope its sooner rather than later.
Well I'm headed to bed early this Saturday evening. With Radar and Bella by my side.
wish my family was in town for the weekend.
I had an interview at a Middle School in my district 5th\6th grade campus. It's 2 potential jobs. 1. Band Director, or 2. Asst band\orchestra director.
Please pray I hear something this week. I can't wait to become a band director one day, I just hope its sooner rather than later.
Well I'm headed to bed early this Saturday evening. With Radar and Bella by my side.
wish my family was in town for the weekend.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
What I did on TAKS day
well today was TAKS writing, and as a SOS teacher (relief teacher for the test administrators)
so I was left outside on this beautiful day and needless to say, I daydreamed of getting a tan a better way!!
This is what I came up with:
-happiness is hearing the 'ding' of the sign in on a ship
-happiness is knowing that tomorrow's only task is to have fun
-happiness is dancing the night away on the ocean
-happiness is tasting food so good you giggle like a kid on Christmas morning
-happiness is a Muster drill, even if you can barely remember it
-happiness is hearing the horn on a ship blow as you feel the thrusters kick on
-happiness is the feeling you get when you hear the minor 3rd of the PA system
-happiness is the waking up to "Red Red Wine" before dawn, so you can make your early flight to cruise
-happiness is telling peddlers "no thanks"
-happiness is crazy cab rides on misc. islands
-happiness is finding that ONE bartender and becoming good friends with them, even if its just for a week.
-happiness is a plate of french fries on the lido deck
-happiness is seeing flying fish in the ship's wake
-happiness is just the right amount of sun burn
-happiness is taking professional photos and barely remembering them until you see them the next day.
-happiness is cruising, and cruising is happiness.
------Emily Boedeker March 1, 2011
that is all for now- 10 days till SB2K11
ps. still miss My PaPa, he's awesome
so I was left outside on this beautiful day and needless to say, I daydreamed of getting a tan a better way!!
This is what I came up with:
-happiness is hearing the 'ding' of the sign in on a ship
-happiness is knowing that tomorrow's only task is to have fun
-happiness is dancing the night away on the ocean
-happiness is tasting food so good you giggle like a kid on Christmas morning
-happiness is a Muster drill, even if you can barely remember it
-happiness is hearing the horn on a ship blow as you feel the thrusters kick on
-happiness is the feeling you get when you hear the minor 3rd of the PA system
-happiness is the waking up to "Red Red Wine" before dawn, so you can make your early flight to cruise
-happiness is telling peddlers "no thanks"
-happiness is crazy cab rides on misc. islands
-happiness is finding that ONE bartender and becoming good friends with them, even if its just for a week.
-happiness is a plate of french fries on the lido deck
-happiness is seeing flying fish in the ship's wake
-happiness is just the right amount of sun burn
-happiness is taking professional photos and barely remembering them until you see them the next day.
-happiness is cruising, and cruising is happiness.
------Emily Boedeker March 1, 2011
that is all for now- 10 days till SB2K11
ps. still miss My PaPa, he's awesome
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Showers and Life as of now
Greetings blog world, good to see you again. I'm not sure who all reads this since I have my page blocked quite well (I hope) so I just will ramble on.
I'm making this entry as I sit upstairs at our rental house in San Antonio. We're here for my cousin Lauren's and Bill's Baby Shower. 13 people staying in one MASSIVE house. I'm quite contemplative at the moment with the past few weekends. 2 baby showers in a row and I have come to terms that they make me uncomfortable. Now, I know that for my sister they make her wayyyyy more uncomfortable than me. But the feeling I get when I'm at them really irks me. Everyone is so lovey dovey and coo-ing, and talking about family and happy lives together. (Same with wedding showers) and I just feel like an outcast. Not because I want what they're celebrating but because I'm not there yet in my life.
The thought of a child terrifies me. Could I do it? yes. Do I want to? No. Having a child means giving up everything for something huge. A selfless sacrifice essentially. If I had a child right now I would hope that I'd do a 100% job at it, but the reason why I can't even consider it, is that I'm not ready to give that up. So yes, I'm selfish.
So that feeling that irks me? -I watch people a lot, keep my thoughts to myself but I do. I take notes and add to the "picture" I have of my life. Things I want that are similar to the ones around me. But then in the back of my mind I see myself as the girl sitting in the chair, texting her best friend, alone. What are other people thinking of me? Granted, if you know me you know that I'm perfectly happy that way, but I struggle with the fact that people might automatically assume that I'm unhappy. I'm not unhappy. Just rearranging my "list". haha
So life now?
-Work is work and that's a whole nother conversation. Last Friday I went out with a couple friends of mine for an old friend's birthday. Ended up having a blast and truly enjoyed reconnecting with them. Granted one lives in DC and the other I hadn't spoken to in months, but nevertheless it was nice.
I find my social life running on auto-pilot, it's a lot of fun but there are times when I want to do something different or something out of the ordinary. Just need to find what that guilty pleasure is.
Anyways, there is my update. Kind of rambling, but yet I always do on here.
Miss you papa,
Em
I'm making this entry as I sit upstairs at our rental house in San Antonio. We're here for my cousin Lauren's and Bill's Baby Shower. 13 people staying in one MASSIVE house. I'm quite contemplative at the moment with the past few weekends. 2 baby showers in a row and I have come to terms that they make me uncomfortable. Now, I know that for my sister they make her wayyyyy more uncomfortable than me. But the feeling I get when I'm at them really irks me. Everyone is so lovey dovey and coo-ing, and talking about family and happy lives together. (Same with wedding showers) and I just feel like an outcast. Not because I want what they're celebrating but because I'm not there yet in my life.
The thought of a child terrifies me. Could I do it? yes. Do I want to? No. Having a child means giving up everything for something huge. A selfless sacrifice essentially. If I had a child right now I would hope that I'd do a 100% job at it, but the reason why I can't even consider it, is that I'm not ready to give that up. So yes, I'm selfish.
So that feeling that irks me? -I watch people a lot, keep my thoughts to myself but I do. I take notes and add to the "picture" I have of my life. Things I want that are similar to the ones around me. But then in the back of my mind I see myself as the girl sitting in the chair, texting her best friend, alone. What are other people thinking of me? Granted, if you know me you know that I'm perfectly happy that way, but I struggle with the fact that people might automatically assume that I'm unhappy. I'm not unhappy. Just rearranging my "list". haha
So life now?
-Work is work and that's a whole nother conversation. Last Friday I went out with a couple friends of mine for an old friend's birthday. Ended up having a blast and truly enjoyed reconnecting with them. Granted one lives in DC and the other I hadn't spoken to in months, but nevertheless it was nice.
I find my social life running on auto-pilot, it's a lot of fun but there are times when I want to do something different or something out of the ordinary. Just need to find what that guilty pleasure is.
Anyways, there is my update. Kind of rambling, but yet I always do on here.
Miss you papa,
Em
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Merry Christmas
Hello there blog world. It's me again. I'm not sure what to write on here, so bear with me as I just type away.
I'm enjoying my "Winter break" so far, actually I'm quite irked that we have to call it "winter break" it's my Christmas vacation, and I don't care who I piss off really. I enjoy Christmas and what it represents, now do I think that it makes me religiously two-faced, yeah. I'm not really good about maintaining the great connection with my Father upstairs throughout the year, but to me I see that no matter what I can guarantee that my heart always goes back to the true meaning of Christmas. Which is the point I suppose. Jesus was born out of love from God, therefore we celebrate his birthday as a celebration of love. Compliments of my student's Christmas program, "Christmas is love" simple words that put it into perspective.
Next topic that has popped into my mind: Friends
I had this old friend, she and I were inseparable growing up. I mean, attached at the hip, but now I find myself distanced from her. Not because of her, but because of me. I've removed myself from the friendship with her. But now after years of avoiding it she's really upset with me and probably is hoping I die at this point. So even if she doesn't read this, I want to put it out there so maybe one day I can tell her I thought about it a lot...
T-
I know I have not been there for the past couple of years, trust me I'm aware of it, and I want to come clean.
Last December when you and I got together for dinner and I sat down and told you what had originally upset me, I was super excited to get it off my chest. I saw it as the opportunity to start clean and get back into our rhythm. I talked about the things that upset me, and still do this day really do still bother me. But as you know it didn't change my desire to keep to myself. That is when I figured that (in my heart) it was time to move on. Not to "move on" from all the incredible memories and fun times we had, but to move on from childhood. I was ready to take a leap of faith by myself to make something on my own. Graduated college, bought a house, travel the world, and take care my own dreams. Now here is where I'm torn, now this shouldn't mean I had to drop our friendship all together, I know. But to me that is how the cards fell. Our schedules never matched up, I don't have the spontaneous personality any more, and have found my rhythm to a simple home life.
I was really upset with what you posted on my facebook wall a few weeks ago. Talking about how "we can't even say hi anymore". First of all, if I did see you there, I would have absolutely said hi,but I had no clue you were even there... to make that further clearer, Steve (brother in law) was also there, and I didn't even see him... once I got over the shock of you "de-friending" me on Facebook, I then thought to myself, why didn't YOU come say hi to me? 2 way street.
Then I look back to August\September, you sent me a text message that said "I could really use your friendship right now" I tried responding but since I was at reliant stadium, I couldn't get the text sent out in time, then you send me a scathing one back about not responding.
Please be fair. Don't be too quick to judge.
Maybe our paths will cross again and on a positive note, where if I do see you I can say hi, or if you see me, you will come up and say hi. I hope that you will be able to see it from more than one direction one day. See where I'm coming from. Until then, take care of yourself, and don't forget our happier times...
Emily
_____________________________
okay, that makes me feel even better.. maybe i can email that to her one day, hell i know it's not perfect but its closer to what needs to be said than nothing.
Back to my rambling
_____________________________
Happiness: I wish everyone around me could elude happiness more. Including myself. There have been recent times where I listen to those close to me and really bothers me with the negativity that always seems to override the positivity. I know that not all of us love our jobs 100%, but that's what we're doing right now. However, just because someone has had a bad day doesn't mean we need to make them feel worse about it.
So here is my resolution for 2011:to exude more happiness
To pull the school's 3:1 ratio of positive:negatives in my life. Not saying to someone, but to be 75% more positive of the time to counteract the inevitable 25% of the time that things won't be going the way I want.
This way, even if people I'm close to, or are acquaintances with need someone are having a bad day, they won't have to worry about me making it worse by making them feel bad about it.
Alrighty, I'm done rambling on here... off to wrap more presents and enjoy my Christmas VACATION!
ps. I love you PaPa and miss you tons still!!
Em
I'm enjoying my "Winter break" so far, actually I'm quite irked that we have to call it "winter break" it's my Christmas vacation, and I don't care who I piss off really. I enjoy Christmas and what it represents, now do I think that it makes me religiously two-faced, yeah. I'm not really good about maintaining the great connection with my Father upstairs throughout the year, but to me I see that no matter what I can guarantee that my heart always goes back to the true meaning of Christmas. Which is the point I suppose. Jesus was born out of love from God, therefore we celebrate his birthday as a celebration of love. Compliments of my student's Christmas program, "Christmas is love" simple words that put it into perspective.
Next topic that has popped into my mind: Friends
I had this old friend, she and I were inseparable growing up. I mean, attached at the hip, but now I find myself distanced from her. Not because of her, but because of me. I've removed myself from the friendship with her. But now after years of avoiding it she's really upset with me and probably is hoping I die at this point. So even if she doesn't read this, I want to put it out there so maybe one day I can tell her I thought about it a lot...
T-
I know I have not been there for the past couple of years, trust me I'm aware of it, and I want to come clean.
Last December when you and I got together for dinner and I sat down and told you what had originally upset me, I was super excited to get it off my chest. I saw it as the opportunity to start clean and get back into our rhythm. I talked about the things that upset me, and still do this day really do still bother me. But as you know it didn't change my desire to keep to myself. That is when I figured that (in my heart) it was time to move on. Not to "move on" from all the incredible memories and fun times we had, but to move on from childhood. I was ready to take a leap of faith by myself to make something on my own. Graduated college, bought a house, travel the world, and take care my own dreams. Now here is where I'm torn, now this shouldn't mean I had to drop our friendship all together, I know. But to me that is how the cards fell. Our schedules never matched up, I don't have the spontaneous personality any more, and have found my rhythm to a simple home life.
I was really upset with what you posted on my facebook wall a few weeks ago. Talking about how "we can't even say hi anymore". First of all, if I did see you there, I would have absolutely said hi,but I had no clue you were even there... to make that further clearer, Steve (brother in law) was also there, and I didn't even see him... once I got over the shock of you "de-friending" me on Facebook, I then thought to myself, why didn't YOU come say hi to me? 2 way street.
Then I look back to August\September, you sent me a text message that said "I could really use your friendship right now" I tried responding but since I was at reliant stadium, I couldn't get the text sent out in time, then you send me a scathing one back about not responding.
Please be fair. Don't be too quick to judge.
Maybe our paths will cross again and on a positive note, where if I do see you I can say hi, or if you see me, you will come up and say hi. I hope that you will be able to see it from more than one direction one day. See where I'm coming from. Until then, take care of yourself, and don't forget our happier times...
Emily
_____________________________
okay, that makes me feel even better.. maybe i can email that to her one day, hell i know it's not perfect but its closer to what needs to be said than nothing.
Back to my rambling
_____________________________
Happiness: I wish everyone around me could elude happiness more. Including myself. There have been recent times where I listen to those close to me and really bothers me with the negativity that always seems to override the positivity. I know that not all of us love our jobs 100%, but that's what we're doing right now. However, just because someone has had a bad day doesn't mean we need to make them feel worse about it.
So here is my resolution for 2011:to exude more happiness
To pull the school's 3:1 ratio of positive:negatives in my life. Not saying to someone, but to be 75% more positive of the time to counteract the inevitable 25% of the time that things won't be going the way I want.
This way, even if people I'm close to, or are acquaintances with need someone are having a bad day, they won't have to worry about me making it worse by making them feel bad about it.
Alrighty, I'm done rambling on here... off to wrap more presents and enjoy my Christmas VACATION!
ps. I love you PaPa and miss you tons still!!
Em
Thursday, December 02, 2010
I did it!
I have successfully marked #1 on my bucket list off. HOLY SHIT. Sadly those are the first two words that came to mind as i typed that. I'm sitting back at my house, slowly uploading pictures to facebook. Really slowly. One day's pictures at a time.
It was an amazing trip. I wish I could put it into words on how awesome it was. Everything I dreamed it would be and more. My expectations were exceeded by all aspects of the trip. No, I didn't find a hot Italian man to fall in love with yet, but I know he's out there.... haha
Christmas is coming up and I find myself in quite the spirit this year, listening to the music and Granny decorating our house one thing at a time helps too! Ready to have Xmas break off to just be at home with family and friends.. hopefully Santa will be good this year? I think so, because he's always amazing.
Merry Christmas all!
ps. i still miss PaPa
It was an amazing trip. I wish I could put it into words on how awesome it was. Everything I dreamed it would be and more. My expectations were exceeded by all aspects of the trip. No, I didn't find a hot Italian man to fall in love with yet, but I know he's out there.... haha
Christmas is coming up and I find myself in quite the spirit this year, listening to the music and Granny decorating our house one thing at a time helps too! Ready to have Xmas break off to just be at home with family and friends.. hopefully Santa will be good this year? I think so, because he's always amazing.
Merry Christmas all!
ps. i still miss PaPa
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Guess what
In a simple 6 days, I will be going to Italy.. amazing.
I can't believe it, almost I can't imagine it... 24 years old, and I'm already working on my bucket list.. I wonder what will be my new number 1 will be... haha maybe to spend more than a week there will be the next one.
I wonder what it'll be like over there? I wonder who I'll meet? Such wonder, and excitement. Add another side of nerves\fear and you have my emotions.
It's going to be amazing.. i can't wait.
I can't believe it, almost I can't imagine it... 24 years old, and I'm already working on my bucket list.. I wonder what will be my new number 1 will be... haha maybe to spend more than a week there will be the next one.
I wonder what it'll be like over there? I wonder who I'll meet? Such wonder, and excitement. Add another side of nerves\fear and you have my emotions.
It's going to be amazing.. i can't wait.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
My dream
I wish I lived a life of infinite funds, a job with no stress, and the freedom to take time off and travel whenever the urge hits.
I wish my life was filled with honest friends who didn't make me "work" at the friendship, I could go out with them and not worry about awkward relationship situations and no issues about families.
I wish my family had their dreams come true, that our lives could mirror each other.
I wish that movie situations were real. That the "happy ending" really does come true, and it IS possible for you to find love the sappy romantic way.
I wish there was no cancer in the world, its a horrible disease and just hurts everyone.
How can I make this dream come true, as fast as possible?
-pondering-Emily
miss my papa
I wish my life was filled with honest friends who didn't make me "work" at the friendship, I could go out with them and not worry about awkward relationship situations and no issues about families.
I wish my family had their dreams come true, that our lives could mirror each other.
I wish that movie situations were real. That the "happy ending" really does come true, and it IS possible for you to find love the sappy romantic way.
I wish there was no cancer in the world, its a horrible disease and just hurts everyone.
How can I make this dream come true, as fast as possible?
-pondering-Emily
miss my papa
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Yes, I still have my blog
Hello blog readers, it is I, Emily, back from a 6 month hiatus.
I am writing this sitting on my red couch of MY house. Yes, I Emily B.-24 am a home owner! It happened in May, 25th actually, I closed on my house. Its a 1410 sq ft, 3br\2bath home. Corner lot, large back yard, 2 car garage, and the perfect starter house for me.
I have a room-mate, against popular opinion, my Granny (Martha) is my room mate. What social goodness does that bring me (single 24 year old) well, I understand that this could be a hassle when it comes to dating life, but I'm very confident that its the best decision.
Granny had been living in an apartment for 10 years, now lets do the math... 10 years at 500 a month average for rent... 50K?? or, live with me in my house. Pay the same as she was paying the apartment for rent, with NO BILLS. AND it helps me out with my mortgage and equity. -WIN
On top of that, she's 77 years old- and this has her in a home that she's safe at and it gives my family a piece of mind that she's got someone with her.
And it doesnt hurt that she loves to do laundry, clean, and cook. haha - :)
So thats whats going on in my living situation haha.
--Next update--
At the end of July, I signed up at LA fitness here in Pearland. Got a trainer and I have been working towards a healthier me since. I go in this week for my first Month's evaluation. Here's to hoping for results.
Now, why now you ask? --> This Thanksgiving I Emily B and my cousin Eilene M. will be embarking on a Mediterranean CRUISE!!!!
From Bari, Italy- and headed around to Croatia, Turkey, and Greece! - We will end up back in Venice and i can't wait.
So if I'm going all the way over there, I'm going to look good when I go!!
-School starts Tuesday for the kiddos, so I have one more work day to get my new classroom ready. That was a whole debacle (however you spell that) but its over and I have a new room.
so thats where my life is at the moment. I'm happy with it, content, and excited to my future.
-Hope this update isnt too lengthly, and enjoyable.
Emily-
ps. I still miss papa so much
I am writing this sitting on my red couch of MY house. Yes, I Emily B.-24 am a home owner! It happened in May, 25th actually, I closed on my house. Its a 1410 sq ft, 3br\2bath home. Corner lot, large back yard, 2 car garage, and the perfect starter house for me.
I have a room-mate, against popular opinion, my Granny (Martha) is my room mate. What social goodness does that bring me (single 24 year old) well, I understand that this could be a hassle when it comes to dating life, but I'm very confident that its the best decision.
Granny had been living in an apartment for 10 years, now lets do the math... 10 years at 500 a month average for rent... 50K?? or, live with me in my house. Pay the same as she was paying the apartment for rent, with NO BILLS. AND it helps me out with my mortgage and equity. -WIN
On top of that, she's 77 years old- and this has her in a home that she's safe at and it gives my family a piece of mind that she's got someone with her.
And it doesnt hurt that she loves to do laundry, clean, and cook. haha - :)
So thats whats going on in my living situation haha.
--Next update--
At the end of July, I signed up at LA fitness here in Pearland. Got a trainer and I have been working towards a healthier me since. I go in this week for my first Month's evaluation. Here's to hoping for results.
Now, why now you ask? --> This Thanksgiving I Emily B and my cousin Eilene M. will be embarking on a Mediterranean CRUISE!!!!
From Bari, Italy- and headed around to Croatia, Turkey, and Greece! - We will end up back in Venice and i can't wait.
So if I'm going all the way over there, I'm going to look good when I go!!
-School starts Tuesday for the kiddos, so I have one more work day to get my new classroom ready. That was a whole debacle (however you spell that) but its over and I have a new room.
so thats where my life is at the moment. I'm happy with it, content, and excited to my future.
-Hope this update isnt too lengthly, and enjoyable.
Emily-
ps. I still miss papa so much
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
March
Dearest Blog world...
Well, March has finally drawn to a close...
8 more weeks till school is out!!
Work is well... work...
Spring break was phenomenal! Costa Atlantica. FLL to St thomas, san juan, and nassau. Great fun. Met some cool people. Danced a ton!
Looking for a new house!! Hopefully will find one soon. One month before I need to tell my apt complex I'm moving out..
Ready for Easter weekend in MF. Sleeping in and good food = awesome.
-Better update should come soon--
Em
Well, March has finally drawn to a close...
8 more weeks till school is out!!
Work is well... work...
Spring break was phenomenal! Costa Atlantica. FLL to St thomas, san juan, and nassau. Great fun. Met some cool people. Danced a ton!
Looking for a new house!! Hopefully will find one soon. One month before I need to tell my apt complex I'm moving out..
Ready for Easter weekend in MF. Sleeping in and good food = awesome.
-Better update should come soon--
Em
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Sad
Dear Papa,
I thought about you so much today. Ended up bawling in the bath tub. I just miss you so much. I guess enough time has lapsed now to where I want to see you, hear your voice, and feel your big squeeze hug.
I hope I'm making you proud. I voted today, I think thats what has my mind on you. Remember you telling me that it was my civic duty to this country to vote. Well, I remembered... and I know you're happy.
Do you miss me as much as I miss you? In a way I hope so, but I hope you're happier than I am. I miss your reassurance that I'm a good person, and that I'm the best Emily Gene there is. I know I should just tell myself that, but its hard to hear it in your own head.
I've been writing Jackie almost every week. Might have missed 3 or so. But I still think thats good. Mom is doing a good job checking in with her. She seem's to be doing well, but I can tell she misses you a lot too..
Goodness PaPa, I miss you... I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream it loud enough for you to hear....
I dont know why this has come over me today... just a timing thing I guess..
I hope you're proud of me. I'm proud of myself which i can hear you in my mind saying "then thats me being proud of you too"- but it sounds so much better coming out of your mouth than the memory of your voice in my head.
I love you more than words.
Em
----------------
WHY do our emotions do this to us? Lay dorment for a while then in 1 day, BAM- they all come running out...
Sorry family, if this makes you sad too. I just needed to get it out.
Em
I thought about you so much today. Ended up bawling in the bath tub. I just miss you so much. I guess enough time has lapsed now to where I want to see you, hear your voice, and feel your big squeeze hug.
I hope I'm making you proud. I voted today, I think thats what has my mind on you. Remember you telling me that it was my civic duty to this country to vote. Well, I remembered... and I know you're happy.
Do you miss me as much as I miss you? In a way I hope so, but I hope you're happier than I am. I miss your reassurance that I'm a good person, and that I'm the best Emily Gene there is. I know I should just tell myself that, but its hard to hear it in your own head.
I've been writing Jackie almost every week. Might have missed 3 or so. But I still think thats good. Mom is doing a good job checking in with her. She seem's to be doing well, but I can tell she misses you a lot too..
Goodness PaPa, I miss you... I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream it loud enough for you to hear....
I dont know why this has come over me today... just a timing thing I guess..
I hope you're proud of me. I'm proud of myself which i can hear you in my mind saying "then thats me being proud of you too"- but it sounds so much better coming out of your mouth than the memory of your voice in my head.
I love you more than words.
Em
----------------
WHY do our emotions do this to us? Lay dorment for a while then in 1 day, BAM- they all come running out...
Sorry family, if this makes you sad too. I just needed to get it out.
Em
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Saturday, November 28, 2009
post-thanksgiving update
Eesh, where to begin.
Thanksgiving week has been a whirlwind... Started it off by going out dancing, followed by a relaxing day cleaning my apartment with Mom and looking for a new CAR!!! Well, got the ball rolling on a car and found one I liked, but needed a little while to get the financing available... Sunday Dad and I left for Lake Charles, where we lost our money, but had a great time. Monday night we had dinner at my Great Aunt\Uncle's house in LC - loved it!
Tuesday dad and I woke up early and came back to Texas, where... I GOT MY NEW CAR! I'm the proud owner of a 2010 Ford Fusion SEL - Sandstone Metallic with Camel colored leather interior. This car (for Ford) has awesome features and a nice V6 engine!
Had lunch with Dad and Shelley in Pearland then I headed up to Marble Falls to intercept mom and jackie. We enjoyed the day, however I (at this point) have picked up a horrendous cough\fever\ickyness... (as I was finishing up a Z pack too... bleh)
Thanksgiving was great minus the sickness, couldn't spoil the babies (JR and Hayden) with my love and goofy noises without a mask on.
**I almost went home today, but as I sit here listening to the TTU football game with Mom, Dad, Shelley, Steve, Jackie, Schultze, Tucker, Gretal, Radar, Bella, and myself I feel this strange warmth over us. All safe, all sound. Life is good. Something in the back of my mind says that PaPa has something to do with this....Its his comfort that I am feeling.. I'm glad I didn't go home today**
I still miss you PaPa
Emily Gene
Thanksgiving week has been a whirlwind... Started it off by going out dancing, followed by a relaxing day cleaning my apartment with Mom and looking for a new CAR!!! Well, got the ball rolling on a car and found one I liked, but needed a little while to get the financing available... Sunday Dad and I left for Lake Charles, where we lost our money, but had a great time. Monday night we had dinner at my Great Aunt\Uncle's house in LC - loved it!
Tuesday dad and I woke up early and came back to Texas, where... I GOT MY NEW CAR! I'm the proud owner of a 2010 Ford Fusion SEL - Sandstone Metallic with Camel colored leather interior. This car (for Ford) has awesome features and a nice V6 engine!
Had lunch with Dad and Shelley in Pearland then I headed up to Marble Falls to intercept mom and jackie. We enjoyed the day, however I (at this point) have picked up a horrendous cough\fever\ickyness... (as I was finishing up a Z pack too... bleh)
Thanksgiving was great minus the sickness, couldn't spoil the babies (JR and Hayden) with my love and goofy noises without a mask on.
**I almost went home today, but as I sit here listening to the TTU football game with Mom, Dad, Shelley, Steve, Jackie, Schultze, Tucker, Gretal, Radar, Bella, and myself I feel this strange warmth over us. All safe, all sound. Life is good. Something in the back of my mind says that PaPa has something to do with this....Its his comfort that I am feeling.. I'm glad I didn't go home today**
I still miss you PaPa
Emily Gene
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving
Greetings Blogger reader(s)!
I hope all is well in your world...
Where to begin....work is work.
Family is fantastic. I am truly BLESSED to have the parents I do, the siblings I do, and of course the WONDERFUL grand-mothers that I do.
We're still healing and missing PaPa Dale. I am a lot, as each day gets easier the random tears become less and less.
I'm looking to purchase my 1st car on my own!! 2010 Ford Fusion SEL Pictures will be posted if financing goes through along with availability. IM SUPER EXCITED!
I'm headed to Lake Charles tomorrow with my Dad for a mini-vacation! Very excited, then we'll head to Marble Falls for some of Jackie's good cookin! Hoping I can get in on the dressing secerets this year.
I love my family, they are my best friends, my confidants, my everything. 2009 has not been the happiest of years, but to look back on how much closer Mom, Dad, Shelley, Steve, Jackie, Martha, and I are to each other. I realize (on a day like today) that life is truly good. Not always easy or fun, but life is good.
Thanks PaPa - something tells me, you had a say in that realization for me. Miss you-
Emily Gene
I hope all is well in your world...
Where to begin....work is work.
Family is fantastic. I am truly BLESSED to have the parents I do, the siblings I do, and of course the WONDERFUL grand-mothers that I do.
We're still healing and missing PaPa Dale. I am a lot, as each day gets easier the random tears become less and less.
I'm looking to purchase my 1st car on my own!! 2010 Ford Fusion SEL Pictures will be posted if financing goes through along with availability. IM SUPER EXCITED!
I'm headed to Lake Charles tomorrow with my Dad for a mini-vacation! Very excited, then we'll head to Marble Falls for some of Jackie's good cookin! Hoping I can get in on the dressing secerets this year.
I love my family, they are my best friends, my confidants, my everything. 2009 has not been the happiest of years, but to look back on how much closer Mom, Dad, Shelley, Steve, Jackie, Martha, and I are to each other. I realize (on a day like today) that life is truly good. Not always easy or fun, but life is good.
Thanks PaPa - something tells me, you had a say in that realization for me. Miss you-
Emily Gene
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Appalled and Disgusted
I have never in my life had to remove myself from a situation on terms of me breaking my own morals.
Today, that happened. An unfortunate incident while in Victoria mourning the loss of my grandfather.
Sometimes the cat does need to come out of the bag. I'm not going to do it on here, because A. That is not mature B. right now it is about support not degrading and C. I must respect people older than me.
But hear me... If one more straw gets pulled, I'm unleashing 2 years worth of anger and remorse towards those who deserve it. I'm packing up, and headed back to Houston. Even if I have to pay out the ass for a rental car.
Today, that happened. An unfortunate incident while in Victoria mourning the loss of my grandfather.
Sometimes the cat does need to come out of the bag. I'm not going to do it on here, because A. That is not mature B. right now it is about support not degrading and C. I must respect people older than me.
But hear me... If one more straw gets pulled, I'm unleashing 2 years worth of anger and remorse towards those who deserve it. I'm packing up, and headed back to Houston. Even if I have to pay out the ass for a rental car.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
This might be hard to read for some-- just a warning
PaPa Dale passed away last night, more details later... but today (Thursday oct 8 2009) I wrote him a letter and emailed it to his facebook. This is what it read.
Hey PaPa,
You fell asleep last night around 10:00, to embark on the happiest adventure yet.
I'm sad you're gone, but thrilled that you aren't hurting any more.
Thank you so much for giving me my Mom. You have left a great legacy of love support and care behind. Don't worry too much about Jackie, she can be my date to events. I'll hold her hand like you did, and help her up out of her chair like you did.
You were my most favorite teacher I've ever had in my life. Your words will live within my every being every day. I really listened and heard what you had to say and tried to take as many mental notes as possible.
So you know PaPa, your favorite song? "How Great Thou Art" well, today, I finally heard it too. The part I think you sang when you fell asleep.
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,How great Thou art, How great Thou art.Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
I hope its wonderful up there, haha- give your sisters a great big hugs, say hi to Ace, Clara, and Richard Sr.
I won't see you for some time, but do know that I will meet you there. Only after teaching the lessons you taught me to as many people as possible.
I love you with all my heart, I will miss you every day, but I will have comfort knowing you're watching over us.
I owe you a Coors light when I get up there.
Love always,Emily Gene
Hey PaPa,
You fell asleep last night around 10:00, to embark on the happiest adventure yet.
I'm sad you're gone, but thrilled that you aren't hurting any more.
Thank you so much for giving me my Mom. You have left a great legacy of love support and care behind. Don't worry too much about Jackie, she can be my date to events. I'll hold her hand like you did, and help her up out of her chair like you did.
You were my most favorite teacher I've ever had in my life. Your words will live within my every being every day. I really listened and heard what you had to say and tried to take as many mental notes as possible.
So you know PaPa, your favorite song? "How Great Thou Art" well, today, I finally heard it too. The part I think you sang when you fell asleep.
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,How great Thou art, How great Thou art.Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
I hope its wonderful up there, haha- give your sisters a great big hugs, say hi to Ace, Clara, and Richard Sr.
I won't see you for some time, but do know that I will meet you there. Only after teaching the lessons you taught me to as many people as possible.
I love you with all my heart, I will miss you every day, but I will have comfort knowing you're watching over us.
I owe you a Coors light when I get up there.
Love always,Emily Gene
Saturday, September 12, 2009
I'm not sure what to title this entry. Me being who I am, and my family knows me. I am going to have a very personal entry here. Please read with an open mind.
My life at the moment...
I feel alone. Yes, the alone does come into part with me being single, but then goes beyond that. In my family I am alone. 98% of family functions I sit alone or do chores to keep busy. Feel kind of like a chameleon (however you spell that). I blend into the surroundings to not be noticed, then overlooked.
This past year *2009* has been a roller coaster of emotion for my family. Lots of downs and a few ups. That being said, I find myself in the corner of most family events sitting alone contemplating where I'm at.
5 times out of 10 my family's conversations revolve around my sister and brother-in-laws adoption. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy they have the ball rolling on expanding their family. They're going to be great parents. But in line with the adoption comes Shelley looking for a new job, which she got, Steve doing really well at his work, and them becoming parents. I'm so happy for them and love them with all my heart.
the other 3 times out of 10 comes my PaPa's battle with lung cancer. A horrible disease that has caused nothing but stress in my family. PaPa is amazing because I don't think I've once heard him complain. Call me selfish, cause its what I am being. I know it. He's not going to be here forever, but why dwell on it? When PaPa pops into my thoughts during the day, the word Cancer doesn't pop up in my head. The word LOVE does. Thats the way it should be. I worry about my family only seeing him as a cancer patient. Not a loving family figure with lots of good hugs, stories, and smiles still left in him. Cause thats who he is.
The final 2 times out of 10 comes babies. I don't understand why this is a big deal to me, since children are so far down on my list of things to do in my life, but a part of my heart aches when I hear family talk about babies. Like I don't have anything fun and exciting to talk about so they move on to something else.
That leaves me. I'm apprehensive to discuss my real stresses of life because blogs are open to whoever wants to read them. Mostly in regards to my job. I absolutely LOVE my Principles, fellow Faculty\Staff members at my school. They are AMAZING. I mean wow! They leave me speechless every day. And thats all I have to say about my job.
It just seems that everything I am doing in my life right now, has already been done. There is no "spark". I don't feel I have the exciting life I had hoped coming out of college and starting my career. I feel like a light-bulb just about to go out. Still providing some light, but not lighting up a room as a person with the whole world at her doorstep should.
I'm still longing for companionship. A hopeless romantic at heart, the time I sit in my apartment I stare off into space wondering what life would be like to have someone by my side on rainy days like today. Someone who would want to spend this kind of down time with me, watching tv while I cleaned, hell someone to just sit around and have a beer with and shoot the sh*#. (That isn't someone in my family.)
That and also letting go of a comfort. I find myself stuck in a rut I don't want to get out of, but I know I need to. Something that I'm afraid to let go of, but I have no idea why. Almost like I'm holding onto a glimmer of hope that one day things could work out. Even if I agree that right now is not the right time. I don't know why I feel that way. I wish I didn't. Trust me, I've tried to get rid of it. BLEH
Call me selfish if you like. Like I said, I probably am. But I just wish even the little things that seem to happen in my life could compare to the things happening in other peoples lives. Even if theirs aren't the most positive things to have happening.
Please blog readers, don't be offended by this, and I honestly don't mind things to stay the way they are, but I would like to at least voice how I feel. Guess thats why I've put off updating this for so long.
My life at the moment...
I feel alone. Yes, the alone does come into part with me being single, but then goes beyond that. In my family I am alone. 98% of family functions I sit alone or do chores to keep busy. Feel kind of like a chameleon (however you spell that). I blend into the surroundings to not be noticed, then overlooked.
This past year *2009* has been a roller coaster of emotion for my family. Lots of downs and a few ups. That being said, I find myself in the corner of most family events sitting alone contemplating where I'm at.
5 times out of 10 my family's conversations revolve around my sister and brother-in-laws adoption. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy they have the ball rolling on expanding their family. They're going to be great parents. But in line with the adoption comes Shelley looking for a new job, which she got, Steve doing really well at his work, and them becoming parents. I'm so happy for them and love them with all my heart.
the other 3 times out of 10 comes my PaPa's battle with lung cancer. A horrible disease that has caused nothing but stress in my family. PaPa is amazing because I don't think I've once heard him complain. Call me selfish, cause its what I am being. I know it. He's not going to be here forever, but why dwell on it? When PaPa pops into my thoughts during the day, the word Cancer doesn't pop up in my head. The word LOVE does. Thats the way it should be. I worry about my family only seeing him as a cancer patient. Not a loving family figure with lots of good hugs, stories, and smiles still left in him. Cause thats who he is.
The final 2 times out of 10 comes babies. I don't understand why this is a big deal to me, since children are so far down on my list of things to do in my life, but a part of my heart aches when I hear family talk about babies. Like I don't have anything fun and exciting to talk about so they move on to something else.
That leaves me. I'm apprehensive to discuss my real stresses of life because blogs are open to whoever wants to read them. Mostly in regards to my job. I absolutely LOVE my Principles, fellow Faculty\Staff members at my school. They are AMAZING. I mean wow! They leave me speechless every day. And thats all I have to say about my job.
It just seems that everything I am doing in my life right now, has already been done. There is no "spark". I don't feel I have the exciting life I had hoped coming out of college and starting my career. I feel like a light-bulb just about to go out. Still providing some light, but not lighting up a room as a person with the whole world at her doorstep should.
I'm still longing for companionship. A hopeless romantic at heart, the time I sit in my apartment I stare off into space wondering what life would be like to have someone by my side on rainy days like today. Someone who would want to spend this kind of down time with me, watching tv while I cleaned, hell someone to just sit around and have a beer with and shoot the sh*#. (That isn't someone in my family.)
That and also letting go of a comfort. I find myself stuck in a rut I don't want to get out of, but I know I need to. Something that I'm afraid to let go of, but I have no idea why. Almost like I'm holding onto a glimmer of hope that one day things could work out. Even if I agree that right now is not the right time. I don't know why I feel that way. I wish I didn't. Trust me, I've tried to get rid of it. BLEH
Call me selfish if you like. Like I said, I probably am. But I just wish even the little things that seem to happen in my life could compare to the things happening in other peoples lives. Even if theirs aren't the most positive things to have happening.
Please blog readers, don't be offended by this, and I honestly don't mind things to stay the way they are, but I would like to at least voice how I feel. Guess thats why I've put off updating this for so long.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)