Blessed

I am by far the most blessed person I know of. (Well close to it) But life is really good right now. I just need to stop and smell the roses more often! While some say teaching is an "easy" job and how I have no room to complain because I have "3 months" off in the summer. I would like to take a minute to say, no. Yes I chose a profession that does lend itself to wonderful vacation time, but please know that it does not mean my job is easy. I just got home today from a leadership retreat with my campus leaders and it was 2 days full of planning, problem solving, and team building. I don't know if it is really worth my time to defend my career as being difficult or even taxing, but I did want to mention that. How am I blessed? Well, I think anyone who does know teachers will be the first to say that the mood around the school campus is differnt or even the mood of the teachers outside of school is different. We do see an end in sight. I find myself in happier spirits and even excited to finish out the school year strong! My mom posted a fun blog about the "End of School" and she was 100% correct. Its a feeling no one gets to replicate. I wish everyone could. Next school year holds awesome potential again. It's crazy to think of how different things will be. But in a great way. I wish our students knew how lucky they are to have their teachers. They're amazing. What an amazing school year for me. Lots of sad changes, lots of great changes, and a crap-ton of learning. I look forward to the travels this summer because I feel I earned them. If you're reading this blog, thank a Teacher. E

Self Reflection

I have found that there comes a time in every persons life that we must self reflect. The words have been stuck in my head all weekend after we had a student at school make a poor choice in handling his emotions and we used the term self reflection of the situation. So I shall (on this relaxing Sunday) attempt to show my own personal self reflection I have been working on since yesterday. I have an awesome life. But there are things I want to change. Just like me wanting to improve things at my job I need to assess what I can do to fix things when I'm not in front of a classroom... 1. Movement - I will start going back to the gym this week. No training, but moving. I need to get back on track. 2. Traveling- I have some awesome travel plans for this summer, even starting this week with a teacher's leadership retreat... So I need to make sure I keep my head above water financially. 3. Socially- I struggle with a few things socially (I have found) and I really enjoy my solitude. All I need is my room, my phone, tv, and computer. I really want to make sure I keep my options open in the relationship department. But then again, I'm not good at reading men. Well, hopefully I can check things off my list ASAP so I can make sure I can continue a positive growth into adulthood. Best wishes. Crusing soon! E

Hello there blog world, Sorry about the delay. I've been busy with work and trying to make sure I finish out this year with my head above water. I'm looking forward to summer, soooo much!!! I can't wait to take my trips around the US and Caribbean! Hope all is well everyone.

Traveling

Lots of stuff going on, whats my focus right now? Traveling of course.


Just back from an incredibly fun trip to Georgia. High up on my list of places I've been. I love my college girls\boys. Sarah, Calan, Audrey, Olivia, Ashleigh, and Jeff. Every time we see each other its like we've never left. It breaks my heart we're so far apart geographically.

I know why I'm traveling so much. I just wish I could afford to travel more.

Dark Day #2

:(

Time for a Change

I'm ready for some more happy changes in my life. I've found some good inspiration, but I hope I can follow through with it. I had done a wonderful job about getting in shape a couple summers ago, however I've since fallen off the bandwagon.

A friend of mine has done a wonderful job getting herself in shape and I long for that same success.

I know what I need to do to lose the weight, however keeping up the motivation is half the battle.
Thoughts? Prayers? Accepting all encouragement.

Dark Days

I've been having some dark days lately.


Nothing worth venting on here, but just dark days.


Lots has changed, really really really fast and its finally catching up to me. Looking forward to something happy in my life happening....


CEL

Addicted

Well, things are infinitely better than my last posts. I'm very happy to say that a cruise can fix all life's stresses. Its just the right amount of freedom to help you reset yourself to be a better person.

I liked it so much, I booked another. Yes, I know its an expensive habit. Yes, its worth it. No regrets.



I read the Hunger Games book this weekend. Enjoyed it, I just wish it didn't take so long to get into it. Much better by chapter 8. Will hopefully see the movie next weekend!

Better

Things are better. I'm glad im going on a cruise soon.

All Alone

I sit here, at my favorite place to feel at home. (Marble Falls) and I feel 100% utterly alone.


People all around me, things happening. All alone. All have their place, except me. I'm in limbo. The person who people "feel sorry for". I feel Pitied, then "lesser-than" others.

I hate negative feelings. I try my best to stay positive most days, but I must call a rat a rat.

Some will say its my hormones being out of whack (which is true) however I can't help but wonder : What if my hormones being out of whack, is just the lowering of my ability to put on a happy face??


In the Dumpiest of Dumps.

Classic Emily Luck.
Emily

Whats wrong with me?

Today, in the middle of 3rd grade, I about started crying, because I wanted a desk job. Some days, I would much rather give up my summers off, to sit at a desk and work independently all day. Granted the number of days that I think that are few. But today is one of them.

Is it possible that some people are flawed. Uncontrollably flawed. Not a negative flaw either, just defaulted. I feel like the black sheep.

I eat dinner by myself at restaurants.
Most guys annoy me.
I take it personal anytime someone thinks I've done wrong, even when I haven't.
I enjoy coming home and sitting in silence for at least an hour.

Icing on the cake

My job is hard.

Back to where I started

One of my friends posted a picture of her husband on Facebook and captioned it "I'm so smitten with him".

I stopped, read it, and re-read it. How lucky it is to find your true love. To meet someone, and realize you'd do anything for that person. That waking up next to them every day is the only thing that matters. I'm envious.

So the butterflies I miss. It's not that. It's the "smitten-ness" I want. I want to be mind blowingly head over heals in love.

One of my good friends told me today, that in order to get there, I have to open myself up to let someone in. I never thought of myself as closed off, but then I thought about it.

I always find an excuse with guys, they're too this or too that. Not enough this, not enough that. And I go back to my "safe place"... my family. I hide in my family. Now, please don't get me wrong, I adore them and love every minute I spend with them. But I'm starting to realize I most likely use them as a cover or protection so I don't have to worry about my heart getting broken.

So how to fix this???

Em

in the dumps

Hey everyone,

I'm in the dumps again, not sure why. Had a very long day at work today, and I'm pretty much wiped out.

It's one of those days you want to talk to someone about it, but then again you're too tired to rehash it.

I'm tired of my ear. I want to chop it off.

That is all.

HO Hum
Em

Crazy

So I go back and read my last post. I smile.

I had a lovely week. TMEA- Texas Music Educators Association. Such a wonderful clinic\conference. I enjoy the classes, the exhibits, and seeing old friends. Acenar rocked, as usual. Haha.

I'm the luckiest girl in the world. So happy. :) Although, I miss my friends who all live elsewhere!!

Em

Butterflies

Good evening, Blog world.

Well, I'm here just about to crawl into bed and felt the need to update the ol' blogg-aroo.

Its been a crazy couple of weeks, but seems like things are getting back into their rhythm.

Why "Butterflies" as the title you ask? I miss them.

No, not the caterpillar\pupa\butterfly, but the heart skips a beat when you think about them butterflies. Yeah, I know its probably because Valentine's day is around the corner, but gimme a break. It's been a long time since I've really been interested in anyone. At least, with..butterflies.

My awesomely funny sister is true to her word when she asked me if she could make a profile for me on ChristianMingle.com I said of course. Which is true, because I haven't had much luck filling out the correct answers for myself on Match or Eharmony. Well, the ball is rolling with a few gentlemen, but I still don't feel the spark, the butterflies. I'm not sure what's missing from them. They all seem like great catches, but I'm missing something. Maybe its because its online dating, maybe because I long for the human contact that is a potential spouse. I dunno.


I miss you butterflies, I look forward to when you return.

Em

DAMN.

Pondering

Funny how someone crosses your mind, odd times of the days. My friend Crystal has been on my mind a lot this evening. So she's going in my prayer book.

Miss you Papa

worried

Worried worried worried.

Pity Party

What in the hell is wrong with me?!?!?!?

My job is great, I have a house, I have so much fun hanging out with my family. Why...Why Why why...am I still not happy. What's wrong with me?!?!!!?!
Even with loving people all around me, I feel alone. I'm supported, cared for, and super blessed. But at the end of the day I feel as if I have nothing.

once again. What in the hell is wrong with me?

I have all of this built up frustration that is just pouring out of me and I hate it.

So go ahead, judge me for my pity party. I just needed to vent.