Over analyzer

Hello,
My name is Emily. I overanalyze EVERYTHING.
THAT IS ALL

________________________

ok, sry had to get that outa my system.. ive had this really big thing eating away at me... and tonight, thanks to my trusty mu phi buddy Sarah, ive finally gotten it off my chest. thanks for listenin girl..
________________________________________________________

lots has been going on... all good, but all very very busy. lots of tests, mu phi stuff, homework, and some form of a social life. on top of that this wicked crazy secret that im working on :-D.

_____________________________________________________

I've also come to the realization that i have been pre-occupying (is that how u spell that?) myself with things that i have no control over. THUS, wasting my time and energy... imagine that?

anyways, im gonna use the rest of this week to sit back relax and chill and get my stuff taken care of... lifes too short to stress the things u cant control.

goodnight!

It's the little things in life

Mom said I needed to update. Thus, here i go...

The little things in life. The things that keep you going, your "mantras". (MOM)

Here are some of mine.

1. Hugs: These are like men, some are strong, overwhelming, wimpy, embracing, just right, too long, too short. (lol) J\K -- I couldnt resist.
And its funny. When a hug fits, ever think about that? When you hug someone, its just the right hold, length, and litterally, the 2 bodies fit together (aka perfect height and arm lengths).


2. Sunsets: Always welcome to listen to your thoughts, never stay too long, and will be there every night. Dependable. Even if you can't see them, they're sibling sunrise will be around shortly. :)

3. Goose-bumps: silly little things. Always tell an emotion. Sometimes cold, sometimes scared, sometimes the need to pee, sometimes ticklish. Always around when you dont want or need them.

4. Hot baths: Now this is a way to relax on your own clock. These can be long or short. Bubbly or not... Soothing or productive. You can either A. Soak and ponder or B. Wash hair, bathe, and shave.

5. Straws and Lids: 2 things that have saved my clothes the most. Yeah, sometimes they F- up, but hey, we all do. But they got ur back if u cup falls over. Saving an embarassing "it looks like i just pee'd my pants, but i really didnt" story.

Don't you think?

Amazing weekend

Hey there Blog!

Wow. what an amazing weekend. Tamara got in town Thursday, and I haven't stopped having fun yet! I MEAN WOAH. She's still in town. and i really hope she comes up here more often!





:-)

writing

sometimes i get the urge to write. actually its a lot of the time. randomly throughout the day, ill just want to sit down with a notebook and write. all of my thoughts.... no exact topic, but just writing, like im doing now.

some people would call it a waste of time, but i use stuff like this as a release of my stress or whatever is on my mind. im actually up at school right now and am just waiting for my next class to start. woo- school, im doing really well, but damn its tiring.

i had a lot of good thinking time this past weekend. sadly enough, i didnt take advantage of it... :( it bums me out because i could have. ive had a lot on my mind lately about my life. i realize now that i think too much in my past. the partier- i havent gotten past it yet it seems. yeah i dont do it anymore, but its more to it than that. its like with the times im not partying im thinking about the times i used to party. all of this thinking goes away the second im around my friends, which is great, but i do have doubts about myself, am i a bad friend for finding a new crowd? does it mke me a bad friend, the fact i havent hung with them in about 4 months? i wish i could just go hang out with them again like old times, but thats just not me anymore.

spring break is coming up and i couldnt be more excited. i mean wow- cruising is like the only thing thats on my mind right now. its all i think about all the time
whether or not ill have fun on this next vacation, who ill meet, and what will happen. will my old ways take over me?
iono
gotta go to class- ttyl
em

what a weekend

what a weekend, i must say, TMEA is by far the coolest event of the spring semester, with the exception to spring break of course.

lets see
- me dave evan lee and jared drove down to san antonio wednesday, and had by far too much fun doing that. i swear, jared and dave had me laughing the hardest ive laughed in a long time.... Elmo and butterflies

-we stayed at a days inn in san antonio, it was kinda in the ghetto, but the hotel itself wasnt bad at all. but yet in this 2 queen sized bed hotel room, the guys heard in full swing my sleeping problem. i MOAN too loud- :( yeah, some people snore, but if u sleep near me you hear a nice, moan with almost every exhale. embarassing...
YES

-TMEA was a lot of fun, I found a new mouthpiece i really like and also a new horn. but as of right now the mouthpiece is the realistic new purchase. duh. i dont just have another $8000 lying around for easy fun spending...

-San Antonio, still remains my #1 favorite city in Texas. everything about it...just amazes me, a town full of history and pride. complex but traditional. along with the fact that I got to see my dad!! he had to come up for some work and so i got to go eat with him. (tears welling up in eyes). he's amazing. i love him. he gave a good surprise

---thus all good things must come to an end-- along with that, so must another day closer till tamara gets up here... :)

---i miss my family. spring break cant get here soon enough- me them and a big sea ahead of us.-

goodnight

sometimes

sometimes in life, we find ourselves wandering around....just wondering what will happen next.

it makes me laugh to know that in one instant, your life is falling apart, the next, you couldn't be more on top of things. i mean, when will everything just fit into place for more than 3 hours....

last week had to have been the hardest week ive had in a while. i must say for the first time in my life, i didnt let anything interfere with my school work! i had all my homework done again, i was prepared for my lesson, my house got cleaned, and i hung with friends.

i really have been trying this whole, "no matter what dont let your personal life take you away from the real reason you are in lubbock", idea. finally i put it into use. i was really down on myself about a lot of friend issues... luckily they all got resolved and im happy to know that me and my friends are adult enough to work through any situation.

in a previous entry i started to talk about boys but then i said, "thats for another time"
- that was like over a week ago.
boys: the fruit of all female stress, both good and bad... the reason girls dress up, wear makeup, and laugh at jokes that arent even funny.

i have finally realized that girls will always dress up, wear makeup, and laugh uncontrollably for no reason... now its just finding the balance of importance\priorities.

family
school
friends
"significant others"

thats the way it should go. and thats the way it will go

E-Bo

A lot on my mind

I have so much on my mind right now.

school friends family boys school tuba friends family boys....
doesnt seem like a lot, but im on system overload

School-
School is going AMAZING, this is the strongest i've felt after the first 4 weeks of school. I am EXTREMELY excited about Mu Phi, and this being my candidate semester, really rox.. I enjoy the company of all my siblings, and I can't wait for the candidates to become even closer.

Friends-
I have amazing friends... they all seem to understand me where I'm coming from even if they arent in my shoes. I was really down last night about my friends not understanding my drive to be a better student...after some good talking w\ mom and christal, i came to terms that they do understand and are willing to help me with this.

Family-
AMAZING, im speechless..brilliant, funny, wonderful, AWESOME (squared), WOW

Boys-
This is a rough subject.
i'll elaborate more tomorrow

im tired
goodnight

Refreshed

Well.....

Friday I hopped on the happy trail on to Marble Falls. I must say, this past weekend was MUCH needed. I really needed to clear my head when it came to what my priorities are. Of course, I'm in line, but I was giving too much of my time to worthless parts of my life. AKA FREAKIN BOYS!!!!

After spending time with the 4 most important people in my life (mom dad shelley and gretal), I refocused on the task at hand, and thats me kicking ass at school this year. So far so good, I love all my classes and I must say, they keep me on my toes.

Tamara is coming up here March 2nd, and I can honestly say, I CAN'T WAIT!! It's gonna rock hardcore! Not much of the whole partying scene, but just spending time with her. UGH I miss her so much! The best part is..... 6 days, she'll be here 6 days!!!! AHH! granted I'll have to go to classes, but still it's so cool!!

wow, this is the first time I think I have ever used (!!!!) in this journal. woot?

wish me luck- ill update more later

E-Bo*

YES!

I get to go see my family tomorrow- I can't wait.

finally the break i need.
from everything!!

ill update more later

Painting

i've recently picked up painting. its quite the therapeudic way to pass time
however u spell that anyways.

this weekend was fun, i lost at poker, induction was awesome, and i'm excited about the semester in Mu Phi.

i dont understand me sometimes. lol does that make any sense? i look at everything going on at this time and i couldnt be happier, but.. (the ever famous but) what if im missing out on something? im scared that in the midst of me just focusing on school and maintaining a healthy social life, im forgetting to let my hair down. as CRAZY as last year was with all the partying i did. sometimes i feel as if that was the real me? but then i think about how far ive come as an adult. although an occasional drink is okay and social. ive yet to be drunk this year. yes folks, you heard me, Emily has not been drunk in 6 months, dont get me wrong, there have been nights ive drank a few drinks, but not once have i been out of my box. wow. sounds like ive gone through rehab... but it never was an issue of how much i drank, it was how i handled drinking... honestly looking back at it, very high schoolish... almost like thats what i needed to do to prove myself worthy of the friends i had. now, i have these friends who i am just myself, and im accepted. dont get me wrong, i loved my party crew last year, oh so many good times..i miss them more than they prolly think. but i just needed to get out on my own, find my little niche.

wow- i dunno what brought that up. but yeah- see what i mean that i dont understand myself sometimes...

Homesick, or over-caring?

Another night gone, another night left for me to ponder through.

I'm confused as to whether or not I'm homesick. I'm sitting here at my computer, just wishing I was home with my mom (she just had a knee scope\knee cap adjustment friday) to take care of her. It could be the ultimate load of caffeine I've had tonight, but I'm not sure; I just can't seem to clear my head.

I think I have a bad habit of over-caring for my friends and family...Where I care so much about them, I forget about myself sometimes. I find myself always going through the list of close people to me, and consciously thinking what they're doing and or if they're happy or not... (this of course, is when we arent hanging out together). More than the "What they're doing" Its more of a "are they happy or not"... these friends of mine mean so much to me, and how happy they make me is how happy i want to make all of them. even the ones i don't know so well, regardless- i care...

like right now, my mom..is she sleeping? lying in bed in pain? is she comfortable? or christal... did she have fun tonight? was her anniversary dinner as romantic as it sounded?

Whats sad is, I can put all this entry into 5 words.
I THINK TOO DAMN MUCH

with that, i say goodnight
Mu Phi Epsilon inductions tomorrow night, I'm excited! woo!

weekend plans

Hello,

Hmm... tomorrow night -
Poker, movie, hanging out. my kinda fun. laid back good time, no drama, no stress, just fun.

saturday night-
good question

sunday night-
mu phi epsilon induction ceremony. im anxious! woo

_____________________

bored.
so F*in BORED - thats me

Pondering

hello blogspot.
my name is emily. i have a bad habit of writing journals as letters. the journal being my non-responsive pen pal. if anybody has read my old online journal, they should know what i'm talking about..

this semester is going relatively well if i do say so myself. school is better than ever, and so are my friends. cant complain at all. i like all my classes, even though my 8 oclock mon. and wed. mornings is rough sleep wise, i can handle it.

anxious for the ball to get rolling in studio, i have great expectations of myself this semester. woo!

anyways im off to bed
goodnight