I'm slowly getting to the core of "Me" (long post)

Hello again, everyone. I know my second blog in a week. WATCH OUT!


Once again, I find myself with lots on my mind. BIG things on my mind. Life altering ideas running through my head.
This morning I woke up having had a wonderful dream of PaPa Dale. I miss that man so much. I had walked outside out of a building, and there he was. Standing there just like it was yesterday. He looks up and sees me, and he smiles ear to ear. I run to him, as fast as I can and wrap my arms around his neck. It's my adult mind, but physically I'm 8 year old Emily. He's 80 year old Papa also. I sit here almost sobbing because it felt so real. I miss his wisdom, his conviction to let me know that I'm always doing the right thing, even through my mistakes. I wish he could be sitting here, across the table from me. Listening to all my concerns and ideas, he would give me the right advice I need to hear.

Why do people who have such major influences in our lives have to leave so soon? I could really use that hug again. A part of me wants to go back to sleep so I can try to relive it.

There is much uncertainty in my life right now, and I'm really REALLY struggling with how to cope with it.

I have the desire to move. I've finally mentioned this to my mom this morning as she checks in with me while on her cruise.

In order to move, I need to find out what career path I intend on taking this next year or two and see what I need to do to get where I want to be.

This thought just came to me.... Life by yourself is difficult. Not because of compromise (I get it, I don't have to compromise with anyone, really) but because of options. Too many options to be exact. Couples who are together make decisions based on each other. If Shelley wasn't married to Steve, would she compromise to move to Colorado? Probably not, then again she might not be living here anyways. However, she and Steve are married and have a lovely bundle of joy, would it be easier to stay here? Of course, but they are compromising a move to ensure that Evie grows up with the best life possible.
My life has no compromise. It's scary.

I'm not saying that making a decision based on a child or spouse\partner is an easier one or is more "glamorous by any means. Each has its own demons.

Life is hard when you find yourself so removed from any "rough draft" outline you've ever had about your destiny. I don't mean my life is miserable because I'm single and living with my grandma. (granted I have days like that, but this isn't one of them)
It's: I'm educated, I don't have to compromise, and I'm unhappy, so what do I do to fix it.

1. Job. Teaching has been the most educational experience I've had in my life (aside from driving around the US for a month by myself). Every day I have the opportunity to give a child the best day of their life. To make the coolest memory they'll always remember. (Singing Eidle Weiss in my 3rd grade play) Kids run up to me and hug me on a daily basis, I get old stickers, traced drawings, invites to come to their houses, and I've been called "Mom" more times that I'd like to admit.
I've also been hit, pinched, bit, spit on, kicked, run into, cursed, screamed at, and hated. Lately, I've found myself struggling to remember the good. When I wake up in the morning I think, "another day of trying to get students to just follow directions" "how can I make a difference in these kids lives, if all I do is tell them to sit down, keep their hands to themselves, and walk in a line".
I guess the bigger picture is that I show them, that even when I'm frustrated I keep coming back, even if they get time out - I will be sure to hug them in the hall way, just because they do something wrong, doesn't mean I don't notice when they do something right.
My heart breaks, because slowly but surely, that's not enough for me anymore. Something is missing. I know I'm making an impact on these children's lives. My lessons are probably the most organized and best lessons I've ever taught in the past 4 years, but I'm afraid my impact on them doesn't outweigh their impact on me. I leave work in tears, tired, worn out, and sad. Deep down I have the feeling that I'm not using my own personal skills to the best of their ability. I want a job, that takes my personality traits and uses it for the better good of other people. Does that make any sense blog reader? I hope so. It kind of does to me.  So what do I do about this? I keep teaching for now, even through the tears and sadness, there are glimpses of the "passion" for teaching I had last year. These students are learning each day from me, if they can see me as a "duck on a pond" then I'm doing my job. They don't need to know about my struggles with them, they need to see a consistent face in front of them each day, willing to keep trying to help them succeed. Maybe that's the biggest education I can give them.
As for myself, my research begins... What options do I have for a career? I did some preliminary research this morning on amazon and found a book that has great words of encouragement for people with my degree. I purchased the book.
More updates to come on this.
Please know: the section is all based on my opinion. I, Emily Boedeker, reserve all rights to these statements.

2. Location. I love Houston. It is home to me, and has been for most of my life. However, with the way things are going right now, I'm considering a change of locale. Where? That's a good question. I'm very interested in small town life. I enjoy trucks, deer, hole-in-the-wall places, and antique stores. I've begun looking up real estate in Llano TX. I wouldn't mind living in Fredericksberg either. But Ive just started looking this morning and Llano was the first place I searched. Granted this all rests upon the above "Job" section, so that's just left me to look around.

3. The DOOZY. Friends and family. A wise co-worker once told me "if you don't have family, then what do you have". That has stuck with me these past few months. A lot of my uncertainty as you've figured or read in my last post, is based on the people I love and care about the most. 90% of them are all related or closely in connection with each other. I have amazing people in my life. My sister, my best friend, my rock, my conscience, my mentor, my verbal punching bag, my lifeline. My best friend who puts up with my German stubbornness. My Mom who is as close to me as anyone can get, and will be happy to tell me like it is, even when I don't want to hear it. My Dad, (I tear up) the reason why I literally just up and walked away from Lance. My dad has shown me what I deserve in a man, and even though it hurts, walk away from someone who doesn't give that to me. Steve, my bro-in-law who is probably the most like me than I'd like to admit. My Crystal, I only knew her face to face for 10 months and I can't imagine life without her. My coworkers, my team, my rock, my best friends. Why would I consider moving from them? Right now it sounds crazy, distance is hard on friendships\relationships, across the country, down the hall, or in another city. I don't the answer to that one. Not yet, at least.


So what do I do about all this inner turmoil now that I've undoubtedly shared WAY to much with the cyber world? I don't know. But each time I put it in writing I feel better, like my thoughts are more organized. Guess Dr. Perminiter was ahead of her time. She told me once, "Sometimes we go through life with our pitcher empty, it takes time but we can fill our pitchers back up"

Desperately trying to figure it out,
E.

Where do I begin?

Hello everyone. I'm not sure where to begin.

On this warm January 27, I'm sitting in my PJs watching the pro-bowl at my parent's house. I'm dog sitting Tucker and Perry Mason while they are on the Carnival Magic for Mom's birthday cruise.

I enjoy the pro-bowl because the players just seem to have fun. I like that its not a stressful game, just fun.

There has been a lot on my mind\plate lately. I've become a hermit because of it. Its been weeks since I've "gone out" with friends, just been sitting at home or hanging with my family.
I don't care for airing out my dirty laundry in the cyber world, but I do feel like blogging about the generalities might be therapeutic.


My Burdens:
-Men. I dare post his name on here: Lance ended up not being the man for me. After our talk on the 1st, he and I continued in the middle area and even attempted a small trip together. However plans fell through, last minute. We went out for drinks after that, and I've never heard from him since. A tough pill to swallow, I deleted his number after my last text message went unanswered. A tearful evening that was, but it was for the best. I haven't cried any more, and I'm thinking that could be a contributing factor to my dark days lately.

-Colorado. A state I actually enjoy, think it is beautiful and I like to visit. But right now its the state from hell. A potential move for my sister, brother-in-law, and princess neice. This is still in negotiation with my brother-in-law's company. But my heart is shattered. My brain knows that this is best for them and their little family, but my heart is selfish as you see in these posts. I do know that my lack of social life with friends being taken over by family time is because I want to make sure Evie knows her auntie Em loves her more than anyone else in the world. Even more than myself.

-Work. Parts of work. Thats all I have to say about that.

- Retirement. Mom and Dad have mentioned retirement more and more lately. This is not a burden exactly, because I'm so excited that Dad would finally have the opportunity to move to Marble Falls the way he's dreamt about for the past 10 years. My concerns is with the Colorado move, them moving. I'm left here.

-Friends. I have some incredible people in my life. There are few that I've kept heavy on my heart these past few weeks. Once again, brain knows to be supportive and a set of ears. My heart is selfish and wants everyone home and\or doing the right thing.

-Myself. I wish I had the desire to get back to the gym like I was a couple years ago. I think I'm getting close to getting there because its been on my heart so much. Something I know I can fix instantly. 90% of life is showing up, 10% is what you do once you're there. So I guess walking into the doors would be the best first step to solve this burden.

-House. I love my house, it's perfect for me. I just feel like its not mine. Not sure why, it just doesn't feel like mine. Wonder what I could do to feel that way.

My Blessings:
-Family. Even with the geography of my family possibly changing, I'm super blessed to have a family I'm so close to, to even been upset if they move.

-Friends. Like I said, I have a great support group around me and really wonderful people who listen to me when I complain, laugh with me when I'm not, and come to me for help.

-Home. I love my house, its not perfect but its home.

-Job. Even on my worst days, I try to remember that there is someone out there that would give their right arm to have a school year's worth of "rough days" than not have a job. -I need to repeat this every day-

So blog world, there you have it. A rough outline as to what's been going on in my life. My head hurts after writing this. Feel free to offer input, I will try to update on how I overcome these burdens and add more things to my blessings list.

Off to bed.
Mallet Madness at work this week... breathing.

E.

Break Down over

Hello everyone, I apologize for my break down-blog post new years eve

Was really frustrated.


Well, all in all--- I finally asked the question to said "Boy- thats a friend- but not my boyfriend" last night.

Now I still didnt get a straight answer from him (ugh) but I feel so much better having had the converstation of "what are we? I would rather be with you than with anyone else... I don't need anything to change, but just knowing that this has the potential to become something more" conversation.

So, thats where I'm at. I came clean and told him where I'm at in this "relationship", so we'll see if he amps up his game--> we'll see.


I'm the most patient person I know, but I know he's worth it.

New Year's Eve

I hate New Year's Eve.

It's a dreadful holiday\celebration that does nothing but remind me that each year I'm in the exact same place as I was the year before.

I'm bitter this evening, as I am every New Year's Eve.
Damned if I go out and get to see the lovely reminder of being 26 and single, or I can stay away from that and stay home and once again be reminded that I, Emily Boedeker, still don't have a person to celebrate with at midnight.

Good freakin' riddance I say.

Even then, its better than going out and drinking too much and then trying to drive home when the cops are working over time to make sure everyone stays safe.

I have no words for how I feel this year. You would think after 5 months of dating someone, he would want to spend new year's eve with you... but no.

I'm done. So freaking done.

I'm ready to run away, be gone for a long time again. I'm mad at myself because I've forgotten who I was when I came back from my trip this summer. What happened to me? I came back and BOOM, met a man who I honestly thought was the ONE I was going to marry. I'm a freaking idiot. Good RIDDANCE...
Screw New Year's. I hope yours was better than mine.

In the Swing of Things

Hello everyone,

Sorry for the delay in posts. Things are going well enough in these parts. A LOT of things going on at work, none bad, but just busy busy busy times.

I'm looking forward to this weekend. Shannon and I have a hotel room downtown Houston to celebrate her 28th birthday. I'm looking forward to a few nights on the town!

Anywho, short update I know, But not much else to update now.


Much love,
E

Summer ends....the real world begins.

Greetings all,

As most of you know Summer Vacation is quickly winding down and teachers\students are getting back to the "salt mines" preparing for another school year.

This week\weekend was a lot of fun spending time at the Pt. Comfort United Methodist Church 60th Anniversary celebration. Granny Jackie really seemed to be having a blast and enjoyed reminiscing with her friends.

On a touch of sad news, Schultze (one of my family's dachshunds) had a herniated disc and lost quite a bit of movement in his hind legs. However my parents being wonderful and awesome had his back operated on and made it home yesterday around 3. He is doing pretty well, but has a long road to recovery. The sad part is, poor Schultze is only 3 years old. Will be 4 in November. Please keep him in your prayers for a full recovery!

Monday the 20th, me and the other teachers of my district go back to work with week's worth of Staff Development, and then the students arrive on the 28th.
Luckily, my classroom is pretty much all set up from my work up there this week and I'm anxious for how this year goes will all the changes my campus has made.

Hope all is well everyone,
E

PS. I'm hoping to be going to Las Vegas this Thanksgiving with my best friend Shannon. You know me, always having a trip planned!

PSS. I received an awesome early Christmas present from Santa this week! SB2K13 is going to be awesome!!

Pintrest and ADD

Pintrest will be the end of me.


I sit here staring at my cluttered "study" area of my room and I cringe at all my piles and hodgepodge of crap. I see on pintrest all these neat organization ideas, however all I really think about when I see them is $$$$...
Granted the point of pintrest is to save money. So hopefully with more research I can find solutions to my piles.

However, I just sit here and get frustrated and annoyed. Therefore it will be the end of me.

I have the feeling my big road trip gave me ADD. Or at least made my ADD worse.
I have a million ideas running through my head on what I want to do. Whether it's fix up my house, get ready for school, plan another trip, or even daydream of Mr. Right.

OY.

If you Really knew Me....

My sister made this post, and she got it from our friend Danielle... I liked it, so here I go...

If you knew me, you'd know:

-I love being a goofball

-Thunderstorms make me nervous

-I love ketchup

-When I'm finding myself stressed\frustrated with my life, traveling always seems to fix it

-I'm addicted to traveling

-I love my Evie

-My roommate is my 79 year old grandmother...

-I have the fear that living with her will keep me from meeting Mr. Right

-I'm in the middle of a roadtrip around the US

-I daydream a lot

-I wish my house was newer and nicer

-It took me 26 years to understand my finances

-I miss college terribly, it was so much easier than being a real adult

-I have great family

-The handful of friends I've kept in touch with are amazing

-I have a blog for my travels www.emilyustour.blogspot.com



That is all for now, check back with my other blog for updates on my trip!

E

In the Middle

One of my very best good friends just informed me she is moving states this summer. I feel in the middle. I'm very happy for her because it is a really neat adventure to go on. However, the selfish part of me is crushed. She's been a great confidant, sound board, and friend for me. The thought of her not being near by is hard, even if I haven't known her very long. So once again, I'm in the middle. Happy\Sad, Supportive\Selfish, etc...

End of Year 3

Well, I'm down to the last week of school. 187 days gone and a world's worth of experience under my work belt. Where does that leave me? Summer has so many fun things planned right now. June 10 I leave on the Carnival Magic (again) with my friend from college. and I am currently watching my lovely neice Miss Evie. I love her so much. She's really easy to watch. She's very content. Not my idea for an exciting night as a single 26 year old but I'm okay with it. Hopefully more update later. Happy Anniversary to Shelley and Steve.

Blessed

I am by far the most blessed person I know of. (Well close to it) But life is really good right now. I just need to stop and smell the roses more often! While some say teaching is an "easy" job and how I have no room to complain because I have "3 months" off in the summer. I would like to take a minute to say, no. Yes I chose a profession that does lend itself to wonderful vacation time, but please know that it does not mean my job is easy. I just got home today from a leadership retreat with my campus leaders and it was 2 days full of planning, problem solving, and team building. I don't know if it is really worth my time to defend my career as being difficult or even taxing, but I did want to mention that. How am I blessed? Well, I think anyone who does know teachers will be the first to say that the mood around the school campus is differnt or even the mood of the teachers outside of school is different. We do see an end in sight. I find myself in happier spirits and even excited to finish out the school year strong! My mom posted a fun blog about the "End of School" and she was 100% correct. Its a feeling no one gets to replicate. I wish everyone could. Next school year holds awesome potential again. It's crazy to think of how different things will be. But in a great way. I wish our students knew how lucky they are to have their teachers. They're amazing. What an amazing school year for me. Lots of sad changes, lots of great changes, and a crap-ton of learning. I look forward to the travels this summer because I feel I earned them. If you're reading this blog, thank a Teacher. E

Self Reflection

I have found that there comes a time in every persons life that we must self reflect. The words have been stuck in my head all weekend after we had a student at school make a poor choice in handling his emotions and we used the term self reflection of the situation. So I shall (on this relaxing Sunday) attempt to show my own personal self reflection I have been working on since yesterday. I have an awesome life. But there are things I want to change. Just like me wanting to improve things at my job I need to assess what I can do to fix things when I'm not in front of a classroom... 1. Movement - I will start going back to the gym this week. No training, but moving. I need to get back on track. 2. Traveling- I have some awesome travel plans for this summer, even starting this week with a teacher's leadership retreat... So I need to make sure I keep my head above water financially. 3. Socially- I struggle with a few things socially (I have found) and I really enjoy my solitude. All I need is my room, my phone, tv, and computer. I really want to make sure I keep my options open in the relationship department. But then again, I'm not good at reading men. Well, hopefully I can check things off my list ASAP so I can make sure I can continue a positive growth into adulthood. Best wishes. Crusing soon! E

Hello there blog world, Sorry about the delay. I've been busy with work and trying to make sure I finish out this year with my head above water. I'm looking forward to summer, soooo much!!! I can't wait to take my trips around the US and Caribbean! Hope all is well everyone.

Traveling

Lots of stuff going on, whats my focus right now? Traveling of course.


Just back from an incredibly fun trip to Georgia. High up on my list of places I've been. I love my college girls\boys. Sarah, Calan, Audrey, Olivia, Ashleigh, and Jeff. Every time we see each other its like we've never left. It breaks my heart we're so far apart geographically.

I know why I'm traveling so much. I just wish I could afford to travel more.

Dark Day #2

:(

Time for a Change

I'm ready for some more happy changes in my life. I've found some good inspiration, but I hope I can follow through with it. I had done a wonderful job about getting in shape a couple summers ago, however I've since fallen off the bandwagon.

A friend of mine has done a wonderful job getting herself in shape and I long for that same success.

I know what I need to do to lose the weight, however keeping up the motivation is half the battle.
Thoughts? Prayers? Accepting all encouragement.

Dark Days

I've been having some dark days lately.


Nothing worth venting on here, but just dark days.


Lots has changed, really really really fast and its finally catching up to me. Looking forward to something happy in my life happening....


CEL

Addicted

Well, things are infinitely better than my last posts. I'm very happy to say that a cruise can fix all life's stresses. Its just the right amount of freedom to help you reset yourself to be a better person.

I liked it so much, I booked another. Yes, I know its an expensive habit. Yes, its worth it. No regrets.



I read the Hunger Games book this weekend. Enjoyed it, I just wish it didn't take so long to get into it. Much better by chapter 8. Will hopefully see the movie next weekend!

Better

Things are better. I'm glad im going on a cruise soon.

All Alone

I sit here, at my favorite place to feel at home. (Marble Falls) and I feel 100% utterly alone.


People all around me, things happening. All alone. All have their place, except me. I'm in limbo. The person who people "feel sorry for". I feel Pitied, then "lesser-than" others.

I hate negative feelings. I try my best to stay positive most days, but I must call a rat a rat.

Some will say its my hormones being out of whack (which is true) however I can't help but wonder : What if my hormones being out of whack, is just the lowering of my ability to put on a happy face??


In the Dumpiest of Dumps.

Classic Emily Luck.
Emily

Whats wrong with me?

Today, in the middle of 3rd grade, I about started crying, because I wanted a desk job. Some days, I would much rather give up my summers off, to sit at a desk and work independently all day. Granted the number of days that I think that are few. But today is one of them.

Is it possible that some people are flawed. Uncontrollably flawed. Not a negative flaw either, just defaulted. I feel like the black sheep.

I eat dinner by myself at restaurants.
Most guys annoy me.
I take it personal anytime someone thinks I've done wrong, even when I haven't.
I enjoy coming home and sitting in silence for at least an hour.

Icing on the cake

My job is hard.

Back to where I started

One of my friends posted a picture of her husband on Facebook and captioned it "I'm so smitten with him".

I stopped, read it, and re-read it. How lucky it is to find your true love. To meet someone, and realize you'd do anything for that person. That waking up next to them every day is the only thing that matters. I'm envious.

So the butterflies I miss. It's not that. It's the "smitten-ness" I want. I want to be mind blowingly head over heals in love.

One of my good friends told me today, that in order to get there, I have to open myself up to let someone in. I never thought of myself as closed off, but then I thought about it.

I always find an excuse with guys, they're too this or too that. Not enough this, not enough that. And I go back to my "safe place"... my family. I hide in my family. Now, please don't get me wrong, I adore them and love every minute I spend with them. But I'm starting to realize I most likely use them as a cover or protection so I don't have to worry about my heart getting broken.

So how to fix this???

Em

in the dumps

Hey everyone,

I'm in the dumps again, not sure why. Had a very long day at work today, and I'm pretty much wiped out.

It's one of those days you want to talk to someone about it, but then again you're too tired to rehash it.

I'm tired of my ear. I want to chop it off.

That is all.

HO Hum
Em

Crazy

So I go back and read my last post. I smile.

I had a lovely week. TMEA- Texas Music Educators Association. Such a wonderful clinic\conference. I enjoy the classes, the exhibits, and seeing old friends. Acenar rocked, as usual. Haha.

I'm the luckiest girl in the world. So happy. :) Although, I miss my friends who all live elsewhere!!

Em

Butterflies

Good evening, Blog world.

Well, I'm here just about to crawl into bed and felt the need to update the ol' blogg-aroo.

Its been a crazy couple of weeks, but seems like things are getting back into their rhythm.

Why "Butterflies" as the title you ask? I miss them.

No, not the caterpillar\pupa\butterfly, but the heart skips a beat when you think about them butterflies. Yeah, I know its probably because Valentine's day is around the corner, but gimme a break. It's been a long time since I've really been interested in anyone. At least, with..butterflies.

My awesomely funny sister is true to her word when she asked me if she could make a profile for me on ChristianMingle.com I said of course. Which is true, because I haven't had much luck filling out the correct answers for myself on Match or Eharmony. Well, the ball is rolling with a few gentlemen, but I still don't feel the spark, the butterflies. I'm not sure what's missing from them. They all seem like great catches, but I'm missing something. Maybe its because its online dating, maybe because I long for the human contact that is a potential spouse. I dunno.


I miss you butterflies, I look forward to when you return.

Em

DAMN.

Pondering

Funny how someone crosses your mind, odd times of the days. My friend Crystal has been on my mind a lot this evening. So she's going in my prayer book.

Miss you Papa

worried

Worried worried worried.

Pity Party

What in the hell is wrong with me?!?!?!?

My job is great, I have a house, I have so much fun hanging out with my family. Why...Why Why why...am I still not happy. What's wrong with me?!?!!!?!
Even with loving people all around me, I feel alone. I'm supported, cared for, and super blessed. But at the end of the day I feel as if I have nothing.

once again. What in the hell is wrong with me?

I have all of this built up frustration that is just pouring out of me and I hate it.

So go ahead, judge me for my pity party. I just needed to vent.

Greetings

Hello there blog family.

Hope you had a lovely Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Where do I begin?

Christmas was spent in Colorado, and that was a lot of fun. Enjoyed spending time with my cousins and visiting with my Aunt and Uncle.

New years was alright.

Before school started back up, I received a call from my Principal that my classroom was broken into over Winter break. All of my electronics (minus computers) were stolen. I still well up when I think about it now. Some people are just plain horrible.

I'm very fortunate in these next few weeks that I don't have too much on my plate with the exception of some travels.

I'm sorry to my friends and family who are confused by my "I feel invisible" post. I feel I'm lacking direction in my life at the moment, and my "stresses" are obsolete in the schema that is my life right now.

Spring break is coming up, I'm looking for ideas to travel. If you know of any, let me know!

I feel slightly invisible these days.

Oy

1. What time did you get up this morning?
9:30 - it was lovely

2. How do you like your steak?
Medium

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Twilight: Breaking Down Prt. 1

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Big Bang Theory

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Where my family is.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Blue Bell Chocolate Ice Cream- don't judge me, that was like pre-lunch.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Tex-mex\mexican food

8. What foods do you dislike?
sushi

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
Had dinner at Pappas tonight. so thats a win right there.

10. Favorite dressing/s?
1000 island

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Ford Fusion SEL- V6 : )

12. What are your favorite clothes?
maxi dresses

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
I would like to spend more time in Italy.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Half full.

15. Where would you want to retire?
Not sure yet.

16. Favorite time of day?
either night or morning. never both.

17. Where were you born?
Conroe

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Football

19. Are you a morning person or a night person?
see question 16

20. Do you have any pets?
share custody of tucker with my parents

21. What did you want to be when you were little?
a doctor

22. What is your best childhood memory?
traveling

23. Are you a cat or dog person?
I love both, but mostly dog

24. Are you married?
nope

25. Always wear your seat belt?
always in the front seat

26. Any pet peeves?
loud breathing and smacking

27. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Pepperoni, and jalepenos

28. Favorite Flower?
hydrangeas

29. Favorite ice cream?
Bluebell- any flavor

30. At which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Walmart or Target

31. Like your job?
loving it this year

32. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Parents, sis, and brother in law

33. Coffee Drinker?
Yes, im a teacher....duh.

Ready for a rainy day.

Obsessing Over: Jim Parsons

Working On: Organizing my thoughts

Thinking About: How awesome my family is. How much I love them all so much, and want them to always be safe, healthy, and happy.

Anticipating: The winter break

Listening To: the ceiling fan

In my DVD player: PS. I love you

On my DVR: Big Bang Theory, Mythbusters, Auction Kings, and Family Guy

Drinking: Water

Eating: nada

Praying for: good health for everyone - its going around!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Week

Gobble Gobble, Happy Thanksgiving.

This time last week, I was in Greece. Katakolon Greece... This year, I'm sitting at my parent's office. Worried about my finances and Christmas. Wow. How different. I'm thinking, of several different things. How to balance my life. It seems kind of one sided... hm..

Anyways, I'm Thankful this year, for my health, my family, my friends, and my successes as of now. I know I'm extremely blessed to have the opportunities I've had and I owe it all to Him.

I hope you all have a lovely holiday. I'm sure I'll be updating this later this week, as I will have lots of free time to vedge in Marble Falls!

Love,
Em

Is it time for a change?

Hello dear blog readers.


Today's entry is coming from the comfort of Dad's recliner at my childhood home. That's right, I'm back in my old roots for the next week as part of my "dog sitting" stint. Currently I'm watching Gretal, Bella, Radar, Schultze, and Tucker. This weekend appearances were made to the Whistler home to love on Maxwell my new nephew-cat.

Work is still going extremely well. I really feel like I have found my stride as an Elementary Music teacher, and even cooler as someone who is knowledgeable. Odd to say that, but for the first time, this weekend I was asked for ideas by a younger teacher.... How cool?! I truly enjoyed sharing what I do in my classroom with her and I hope what I offered helped. Neat huh? me...experienced teacher... ahh!

I'm still going to the gym about once a week. I feel like I'm slacking though. I don't know what happened to my motivation I had a couple years ago. I'm still in the best shape of my life when it comes to abilities but I still feel like something is missing.

I'm not sure what needs to change, but I do feel like it is time for a change. For me. Not sure if that means new hobbies, outlets, or wardrobe. Actually I feel kind of lost when I think about it. All I know is that I want to keep improving my life and I think I'm right on the brink of something cool.


This past week I've also been thinking about my PaPa a lot. I think it was because of Veterans Day. I miss getting him cards. Maybe I could get him one next year, even as hokey as that sounds. But yeah, randomly I've found myself "welling" up thinking about him. Odd. Normally I like to think of myself as a pretty strong person when it comes to that emotion these days. Then again... I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve.

Anyways, on to a week of dogsitting and pondering. I'll let you know if I find out what that change is.

Love,
Emily

Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks...

I've been teaching now for my 3rd year. I've argued with my principal, I've had bad walk throughs, I've seen a kid melt down in a temper tantrum, I've been bitten- kicked sworn at -called fat- cried on. I would rather have all of that, every single day for the rest of my career, to not have the Monday I had this week....

Monday was a normal day, like any other... Our principal called us for a short talk after school. I walk to the room, notice a couple of District people there thinking this has to deal with our grant. WRONG. A silent room, kleenex's everywhere... Never a good sign...

One of our first graders passed away Sunday night\Early Monday morning....(breathe -Emily) I dont want to go into too much detail, Blog. But sometimes just writing it out helps. Words cannot describe the emotion. I HATE IT. I taught him every day last year.=. No he wasn't my homeroom class, but I did see him 2 days a week in class this year, and just about every day in the hallway...

There is the quote in Twilight "Death is easy, life is hard"- Shelley and I spoke about it a few weeks ago. I hope its correct, because hearing the students come up to me today and say "He died" was really hard. Innocent and "Resilient" as mom calls it (turns out its true) they talk as if he was a pet. I think that's a blessing in disguise. Our brains dont fully mature until we're 24\25 years old. Maybe that's a survival instinct, truth be told. I will remember these past 2 days for the REST of my life with much emotional connection to how it felt to lose a student. But for the average 6 or 7 year old, its simple. No thoughts about how to handle it. It just is as it is...
Wish I could turn my brain off and think like that. But thus the beauty of growing up.

The last day I saw him, was an awesome day (last Wednesday). We had really found our "rhythm" in music. Pun intended. He had fun in my class, was successful at it, and was consistently rewarded for it. That should make me feel better right? Nope. Just like Papa, I describe it as "I was not done yet". Hell, Friday Oct. 7, two years since Papa passed. I'm still not done yet.

My goal this week is to tell each class I teach, why they are special to me. And my goal this year is to dismiss these students (good day or bad day) on a "note" I don't feel guilty about.

His last day in class he got a sticker for following directions and participating correctly. I can't NOT be happy with that. I pray for comfort to his family, his home room teacher, and for his friends.

Sometimes I wish God would let us peek at his "schedule" he has for us. Or I wish he wasn't so confident in our abilities to handle hard situations. But time heals all wounds. However, I pray with all my might to not have to have a meeting like that again.



I'm not public posting this on FBook, but I did update it. If you read it, please say a quick prayer for J.E. God will know who you're talking about. I've already been chatting Him up about him.

Tell the ones you love, you do.
Tell the ones you know, you care.


-Much Love,
Emily

I love to sing.

Greetings blog world. Hope you had a lovely weekend, I definitely had a good one. I'm trying to stay equally busy\lazy today so I get the most out of my Sunday.

Today I had the urge to clean my sitting area in my room, luckily it didn't take that long, so I had time to make selections for my new travel photo album which I've not filled in since last Christmas.

I came across a picture of myself from the November Italy trip, it was odd seeing myself then. The peak of my weight loss over the year and the light in my eyes was stunning. I look at more recent pictures and I don't see that anymore. I'm still going to the gym about once a week but have really fallen off my "healthy" bandwagon. That gave me inspiration today to get off my ass and get back to the gym to do the less glamorous-cardio work out.. I got through my longest stint on the elliptical with such ease. I find that frustrating that even though my body can handle extended workouts now, I'm still not progressing..

The conscious discipline training kicks in, what am I do that is causing this? After a lovely and yummy lunch at Gringos today, I found myself happily enjoying chips, salsa, cheese enchiladas, etc.... So. I'm trying to regain that inner strength to disconnect my cravings for certain foods. Mexican food being my favorite, and by far my vice against a hard day's work. Now I for one know (through years of yo yo dieting) that I will not deprive myself of my cravings. But to space them out accordingly based upon my workout regime. Work out more than you eat. Simple, but difficult.

Another thing I thought about was that last year I was working towards the November cruise, my bucket list. It was easy to find the will-power there. Now, cause of finances, I'm just "going to the gym". So I'm going to put this in writing. My travel plans thus far this Fall Semester.

Sept.30-Oct 2: Oktoberfest

Oct. 7-9 Victoria
Oct. 14-16 Open (possibly Marble Falls
Oct. 21-23 Camping in Huntsville
Oct. 28-30 Victoria
Nov. 4-7 NASCAR weekend in Ft. Worth
Nov. 11-13 Dog-sitting for Mom and Dad I'm sure
Nov. 20-22 Lau'Berge Du Lac (solo trip)
Nov. 23-26 Victoria for Thanksgiving

So I'm pretty busy this rest of the 2011 year. Toss in a couple inservices and I find myself just going through the "healthy motions". While work is exponentially better I find myself less in the need to "burn off steam" after the work day...

I don't know, Blog. I really don't know. Maybe I need to re-read the book that had me going to the gym in the first place. It was my number 1 motivator to get me to walk into the door.

Yes, just to re-read it. Maybe live vicariously through it. Minus meeting a dude in a foreign country via a web-chat who turns out to be in a relationship with another woman and I'm stuck over there doing God knows what, once my heart is broken.

"I need some distraction, oh beautiful release...."- Sarah McLaughlin.

That is all for now, blog. Goodbye and God Bless

the good kind of tired

Dear Blog readers,

I write to you on this cloudy Sunday, with tired eyes. But its a good kind of tired. Another fun weekend in the books, and a fun Birthday celebration for my best friend, Shannon. Last night we went bowling (which I hadn't done in a long time), and I finally broke 100 with a score of 105 for the last game. Therefore, I had a successful bowling night! (Small things in life, I know)

After that we went to Sherlocks Pub for drinks and good conversation. It was a lot of fun, because I got to meet more of Shannon's friends and put faces to names. They're very fun people and it was nice to spend the evening laughing and enjoying each others company. Even more fun was dancing to the band they had playing. Of course any of you readers who have been to Sherlocks Clear Lake, know that the bands there are always wayyyy too loud. Yet, we ended up dancing right next to the speaker... maybe that's the ringing I hear in my ears this morning.

Last weekend was a lot of fun, Friday night Shannon and I went out to Big Texas, odd how I used to be a regular there, and then I hadn't been in months. Felt weird being back, but still enjoyed the night. Might have regretted some of the fun we had the next morning, but I'm learning that comes with age. Saturday morning Shelley, Steve, and I went to Temple for a friend's wedding. We had a great car ride up there, and a fun evening celebrating with friends.

As you saw in the previous post Sunday was the Texans game and I met Clay Walker. That was awesome.

So now I'm spending my Sunday working on lesson plans, debating on leaving the house today at all. I know football is on, and after last weekend I'm definitely tempted to watch some more.

This next week should be fun:
Monday- Gym
Tuesday- Gym and Birthday Dinner at Olive Garden w\ Shannon
Wednesday- Staff Dev. meetings and Bible Study (hosted here)
Thursday- work work work
Friday- sleep post work
Saturday- Maroon 5 concert w\ Shelley and Yacavone girls
Sunday- rest


I'm excited about Octoberfest, Sept 30-2nd weekend. Should be lots of fun with friends and family!

Well, suppose that's a good enough update. Have a great week,

Love,
Em

PS. I miss him still

the biggest surprise

Work is going soooo well!!!

Things are off to a great start and I'm excited about week 4 of the school year!

Also, today I got to go to the Texans game with Shelley Steve, and Eilene. My aunt susie got us field passes which was awesome because I got to have my picture taken with.....................


So cool!! - ps. thats clay walker for you non-country-music-listening folks!


Really really neat.

Thats all for my update today, maybe a more formal one soon!

Friday night

Sometimes Im really torn. Right now, I'm not wanting to be alone, but don't know who I want to hang out with. I'm sitting in my room with the door shut, kind of zoned out in lala land.

I'm 25, single. With every desire to find Mr. Right, but no willingness to find him.

Summer 2011

Hello there blog. Sorry I've neglected you. Seems I've lost my knack to write as much these days.

Tomorrow I'm going back to Pomeroy for year 3 of my teaching career. However this year comes with fear, regret, anticipation, expectations, and loathing. Last year for my school was really rough. Not sugar coating anything, but it pretty much sucked for the teachers. For the students you ask? Well, they had the best year they've had in over 5 years. So, maybe through all the crud we teachers went through, actually did the trick.
I've prayed a lot this summer, for a new job teaching old students band. Inspired by the music I miss the most I found myself crying uncontrollably listening to the Marches played 4th of July. Yet, with everything in the world as it is these days, I did not receive a call back or interview for most of the jobs I applied.
Heartbreaking and upsetting I wonder why? I've done everything I can do make sure I've improved my career, my own education, and not breaking the rules. Yet my prayers weren't answered.
Then I got mad. Why God, why don't you want me to be happy with my job? Then I realized, that in God's infinite wisdom and wittiness, I bet there is a lesson for me at Pomeroy. If I can return this year, keep trying and doing my best, I might just find happiness there. We all know it wont be easy, but if I can be happy in a place I've despised before, then no matter where I end up in the next years. I know I can rise above any loathing, frustrations, and politics that come with other jobs.
-kind of like "unanswered prayers" - There has to be a reason for me to be there this year. I know it.

Money.
Such an irritating subject for me this summer.I'm Not struggling, but not getting ahead as fast as I want. I wish I felt more like an adult when it comes to finances, but somehow I always feel like a teenager with a salary income.. not sure I can handle it correctly. I asked my mom if the worry of bills ever stops.. she said "no, then you have kids and it quadruples in a minute". She's very smart.

Harry Potter
What a shame I missed out on the craze these past 10 years. I've always kind of turned my nose up to the thought of these books and movies. Then, I watched a movie with my sister and I realized what I'd been missing out on. So I watched the last installment that came out this summer and left the theater completely confused and intrigued. So I became a reading machine and knocked out all 7 books in a week and a half. Not an easy feat considering how slow of a reader I am. I sit here having gone and seen the last movie the second time this evening. Blown away by JK Rowling's imagination. I could only DREAM of creating such a world in my mind so vivid enough to put it into words. THEN that being interesting enough to be made into movies. I believe she has to be the most creative person to ever walk this planet and I'm so glad she shared her talents with the world.

Having been so blown away by the Harry Potter (HP) books\movies it has inspired me to do a bit of research into my next travels. As most of you know, HP is set in London and other parts of Europe. So I'm hoping to pay the city a visit in June 2012. Maybe Scotland, Ireland, Germany, and might as well see some more Italy while I'm there. Yet that goes back to the whole $ fiasco. SAVE SAVE SAVE is all that's on my mind these days.

So where does this leave me as Summer 2011 comes to an end...
I'm still 25, single, working out, Elem music teacher. Who loves to dance, sing, spend time with her family, travel, laugh, eat, and day dream.

I want to be a part of something huge. Not Harry Potter huge, but something important. So many things have impacted my life, whether it be Jemima Jones, Harry Potter, My parents, my teachers, Twilight, friendships, kisses, deaths,cruises, flights, road-trips, births, siblings, or even the people who I've (regrettably) wished bad things upon. They've all made huge impacts on my life in miraculous ways. Now I'm sure they can say I did the same for them, but I want to pay it forward for generations to come. I want to give the world something that makes them stop and think "Man, I want to meet her and say "hey, you changed my life"- as I would to the people of my past.

So I leave you with this Blog readers:
Goals come and go, people do the same. an imagination is your best therapist. sometimes we must learn to be happy in an unhappy situation in order for us to move onto new things.

- Don't give up because it's hard. Stick with it to figure out it's easy. -Emily B.

I miss my Papas every day, and love the ones still here madly.
-Much love, a forever learning:
Emily

I'm gonna get there some day...

Dierks said it best with this song.

Well its been a year and there so much to tell
been doing alright in spite of myself
just wish i could stop feeling bad when i pray
But I know I'm gonna get there someday

Got that job I was dreaming about
sometimes its tough traveling around
but who i wanna be still seems so far away
but i know i'm gonna get there someday

glad i told you all i meant to
while i had the chance
cause every moment i had with you
made me who i am

by the way, i met someone new
and wouldn't you know, she's a whole lot like you
still i ain't ready to settle down in one place
but i know i'm gonna get there someday

well i guess i'll be movin on
i'll just leave these daisies by your stone
and momma, i still miss you every day
but i know i'm gonna get there someday

when that'll be, guess only God can say
but i know i'm gonna get there someday



I'm struggling right now with the troubled work life, the singleness, lack of social life... this too shall pass, but its sucks tonight. 25, single, best shape of my life, and im at home listening to country music on pandora, wishing i had a dance partner.

Take this job and shove it

The school year ended!!!! I'm alive and not in jail!


I had an interview at a Middle School in my district 5th\6th grade campus. It's 2 potential jobs. 1. Band Director, or 2. Asst band\orchestra director.

Please pray I hear something this week. I can't wait to become a band director one day, I just hope its sooner rather than later.

Well I'm headed to bed early this Saturday evening. With Radar and Bella by my side.

wish my family was in town for the weekend.

In the dumps lately. Hopefully I'll get out of this funk soon.

What I did on TAKS day

well today was TAKS writing, and as a SOS teacher (relief teacher for the test administrators)

so I was left outside on this beautiful day and needless to say, I daydreamed of getting a tan a better way!!

This is what I came up with:

-happiness is hearing the 'ding' of the sign in on a ship

-happiness is knowing that tomorrow's only task is to have fun

-happiness is dancing the night away on the ocean

-happiness is tasting food so good you giggle like a kid on Christmas morning

-happiness is a Muster drill, even if you can barely remember it

-happiness is hearing the horn on a ship blow as you feel the thrusters kick on

-happiness is the feeling you get when you hear the minor 3rd of the PA system

-happiness is the waking up to "Red Red Wine" before dawn, so you can make your early flight to cruise

-happiness is telling peddlers "no thanks"

-happiness is crazy cab rides on misc. islands

-happiness is finding that ONE bartender and becoming good friends with them, even if its just for a week.

-happiness is a plate of french fries on the lido deck

-happiness is seeing flying fish in the ship's wake

-happiness is just the right amount of sun burn

-happiness is taking professional photos and barely remembering them until you see them the next day.

-happiness is cruising, and cruising is happiness.


------Emily Boedeker March 1, 2011



that is all for now- 10 days till SB2K11
ps. still miss My PaPa, he's awesome

Showers and Life as of now

Greetings blog world, good to see you again. I'm not sure who all reads this since I have my page blocked quite well (I hope) so I just will ramble on.

I'm making this entry as I sit upstairs at our rental house in San Antonio. We're here for my cousin Lauren's and Bill's Baby Shower. 13 people staying in one MASSIVE house. I'm quite contemplative at the moment with the past few weekends. 2 baby showers in a row and I have come to terms that they make me uncomfortable. Now, I know that for my sister they make her wayyyyy more uncomfortable than me. But the feeling I get when I'm at them really irks me. Everyone is so lovey dovey and coo-ing, and talking about family and happy lives together. (Same with wedding showers) and I just feel like an outcast. Not because I want what they're celebrating but because I'm not there yet in my life.

The thought of a child terrifies me. Could I do it? yes. Do I want to? No. Having a child means giving up everything for something huge. A selfless sacrifice essentially. If I had a child right now I would hope that I'd do a 100% job at it, but the reason why I can't even consider it, is that I'm not ready to give that up. So yes, I'm selfish.

So that feeling that irks me? -I watch people a lot, keep my thoughts to myself but I do. I take notes and add to the "picture" I have of my life. Things I want that are similar to the ones around me. But then in the back of my mind I see myself as the girl sitting in the chair, texting her best friend, alone. What are other people thinking of me? Granted, if you know me you know that I'm perfectly happy that way, but I struggle with the fact that people might automatically assume that I'm unhappy. I'm not unhappy. Just rearranging my "list". haha

So life now?
-Work is work and that's a whole nother conversation. Last Friday I went out with a couple friends of mine for an old friend's birthday. Ended up having a blast and truly enjoyed reconnecting with them. Granted one lives in DC and the other I hadn't spoken to in months, but nevertheless it was nice.

I find my social life running on auto-pilot, it's a lot of fun but there are times when I want to do something different or something out of the ordinary. Just need to find what that guilty pleasure is.

Anyways, there is my update. Kind of rambling, but yet I always do on here.

Miss you papa,
Em

Merry Christmas

Hello there blog world. It's me again. I'm not sure what to write on here, so bear with me as I just type away.

I'm enjoying my "Winter break" so far, actually I'm quite irked that we have to call it "winter break" it's my Christmas vacation, and I don't care who I piss off really. I enjoy Christmas and what it represents, now do I think that it makes me religiously two-faced, yeah. I'm not really good about maintaining the great connection with my Father upstairs throughout the year, but to me I see that no matter what I can guarantee that my heart always goes back to the true meaning of Christmas. Which is the point I suppose. Jesus was born out of love from God, therefore we celebrate his birthday as a celebration of love. Compliments of my student's Christmas program, "Christmas is love" simple words that put it into perspective.

Next topic that has popped into my mind: Friends
I had this old friend, she and I were inseparable growing up. I mean, attached at the hip, but now I find myself distanced from her. Not because of her, but because of me. I've removed myself from the friendship with her. But now after years of avoiding it she's really upset with me and probably is hoping I die at this point. So even if she doesn't read this, I want to put it out there so maybe one day I can tell her I thought about it a lot...

T-
I know I have not been there for the past couple of years, trust me I'm aware of it, and I want to come clean.

Last December when you and I got together for dinner and I sat down and told you what had originally upset me, I was super excited to get it off my chest. I saw it as the opportunity to start clean and get back into our rhythm. I talked about the things that upset me, and still do this day really do still bother me. But as you know it didn't change my desire to keep to myself. That is when I figured that (in my heart) it was time to move on. Not to "move on" from all the incredible memories and fun times we had, but to move on from childhood. I was ready to take a leap of faith by myself to make something on my own. Graduated college, bought a house, travel the world, and take care my own dreams. Now here is where I'm torn, now this shouldn't mean I had to drop our friendship all together, I know. But to me that is how the cards fell. Our schedules never matched up, I don't have the spontaneous personality any more, and have found my rhythm to a simple home life.

I was really upset with what you posted on my facebook wall a few weeks ago. Talking about how "we can't even say hi anymore". First of all, if I did see you there, I would have absolutely said hi,but I had no clue you were even there... to make that further clearer, Steve (brother in law) was also there, and I didn't even see him... once I got over the shock of you "de-friending" me on Facebook, I then thought to myself, why didn't YOU come say hi to me? 2 way street.

Then I look back to August\September, you sent me a text message that said "I could really use your friendship right now" I tried responding but since I was at reliant stadium, I couldn't get the text sent out in time, then you send me a scathing one back about not responding.
Please be fair. Don't be too quick to judge.

Maybe our paths will cross again and on a positive note, where if I do see you I can say hi, or if you see me, you will come up and say hi. I hope that you will be able to see it from more than one direction one day. See where I'm coming from. Until then, take care of yourself, and don't forget our happier times...

Emily



_____________________________
okay, that makes me feel even better.. maybe i can email that to her one day, hell i know it's not perfect but its closer to what needs to be said than nothing.

Back to my rambling
_____________________________

Happiness: I wish everyone around me could elude happiness more. Including myself. There have been recent times where I listen to those close to me and really bothers me with the negativity that always seems to override the positivity. I know that not all of us love our jobs 100%, but that's what we're doing right now. However, just because someone has had a bad day doesn't mean we need to make them feel worse about it.

So here is my resolution for 2011:to exude more happiness
To pull the school's 3:1 ratio of positive:negatives in my life. Not saying to someone, but to be 75% more positive of the time to counteract the inevitable 25% of the time that things won't be going the way I want.

This way, even if people I'm close to, or are acquaintances with need someone are having a bad day, they won't have to worry about me making it worse by making them feel bad about it.

Alrighty, I'm done rambling on here... off to wrap more presents and enjoy my Christmas VACATION!

ps. I love you PaPa and miss you tons still!!

Em

I did it!

I have successfully marked #1 on my bucket list off. HOLY SHIT. Sadly those are the first two words that came to mind as i typed that. I'm sitting back at my house, slowly uploading pictures to facebook. Really slowly. One day's pictures at a time.

It was an amazing trip. I wish I could put it into words on how awesome it was. Everything I dreamed it would be and more. My expectations were exceeded by all aspects of the trip. No, I didn't find a hot Italian man to fall in love with yet, but I know he's out there.... haha

Christmas is coming up and I find myself in quite the spirit this year, listening to the music and Granny decorating our house one thing at a time helps too! Ready to have Xmas break off to just be at home with family and friends.. hopefully Santa will be good this year? I think so, because he's always amazing.

Merry Christmas all!


ps. i still miss PaPa

Guess what

In a simple 6 days, I will be going to Italy.. amazing.

I can't believe it, almost I can't imagine it... 24 years old, and I'm already working on my bucket list.. I wonder what will be my new number 1 will be... haha maybe to spend more than a week there will be the next one.

I wonder what it'll be like over there? I wonder who I'll meet? Such wonder, and excitement. Add another side of nerves\fear and you have my emotions.

It's going to be amazing.. i can't wait.

My dream

I wish I lived a life of infinite funds, a job with no stress, and the freedom to take time off and travel whenever the urge hits.

I wish my life was filled with honest friends who didn't make me "work" at the friendship, I could go out with them and not worry about awkward relationship situations and no issues about families.

I wish my family had their dreams come true, that our lives could mirror each other.

I wish that movie situations were real. That the "happy ending" really does come true, and it IS possible for you to find love the sappy romantic way.

I wish there was no cancer in the world, its a horrible disease and just hurts everyone.

How can I make this dream come true, as fast as possible?

-pondering-Emily

miss my papa

Yes, I still have my blog

Hello blog readers, it is I, Emily, back from a 6 month hiatus.

I am writing this sitting on my red couch of MY house. Yes, I Emily B.-24 am a home owner! It happened in May, 25th actually, I closed on my house. Its a 1410 sq ft, 3br\2bath home. Corner lot, large back yard, 2 car garage, and the perfect starter house for me.

I have a room-mate, against popular opinion, my Granny (Martha) is my room mate. What social goodness does that bring me (single 24 year old) well, I understand that this could be a hassle when it comes to dating life, but I'm very confident that its the best decision.

Granny had been living in an apartment for 10 years, now lets do the math... 10 years at 500 a month average for rent... 50K?? or, live with me in my house. Pay the same as she was paying the apartment for rent, with NO BILLS. AND it helps me out with my mortgage and equity. -WIN

On top of that, she's 77 years old- and this has her in a home that she's safe at and it gives my family a piece of mind that she's got someone with her.
And it doesnt hurt that she loves to do laundry, clean, and cook. haha - :)

So thats whats going on in my living situation haha.

--Next update--
At the end of July, I signed up at LA fitness here in Pearland. Got a trainer and I have been working towards a healthier me since. I go in this week for my first Month's evaluation. Here's to hoping for results.

Now, why now you ask? --> This Thanksgiving I Emily B and my cousin Eilene M. will be embarking on a Mediterranean CRUISE!!!!

From Bari, Italy- and headed around to Croatia, Turkey, and Greece! - We will end up back in Venice and i can't wait.

So if I'm going all the way over there, I'm going to look good when I go!!

-School starts Tuesday for the kiddos, so I have one more work day to get my new classroom ready. That was a whole debacle (however you spell that) but its over and I have a new room.

so thats where my life is at the moment. I'm happy with it, content, and excited to my future.

-Hope this update isnt too lengthly, and enjoyable.

Emily-
ps. I still miss papa so much

March

Dearest Blog world...

Well, March has finally drawn to a close...

8 more weeks till school is out!!

Work is well... work...

Spring break was phenomenal! Costa Atlantica. FLL to St thomas, san juan, and nassau. Great fun. Met some cool people. Danced a ton!

Looking for a new house!! Hopefully will find one soon. One month before I need to tell my apt complex I'm moving out..

Ready for Easter weekend in MF. Sleeping in and good food = awesome.

-Better update should come soon--

Em

Sad

Dear Papa,

I thought about you so much today. Ended up bawling in the bath tub. I just miss you so much. I guess enough time has lapsed now to where I want to see you, hear your voice, and feel your big squeeze hug.

I hope I'm making you proud. I voted today, I think thats what has my mind on you. Remember you telling me that it was my civic duty to this country to vote. Well, I remembered... and I know you're happy.

Do you miss me as much as I miss you? In a way I hope so, but I hope you're happier than I am. I miss your reassurance that I'm a good person, and that I'm the best Emily Gene there is. I know I should just tell myself that, but its hard to hear it in your own head.

I've been writing Jackie almost every week. Might have missed 3 or so. But I still think thats good. Mom is doing a good job checking in with her. She seem's to be doing well, but I can tell she misses you a lot too..

Goodness PaPa, I miss you... I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to scream it loud enough for you to hear....

I dont know why this has come over me today... just a timing thing I guess..

I hope you're proud of me. I'm proud of myself which i can hear you in my mind saying "then thats me being proud of you too"- but it sounds so much better coming out of your mouth than the memory of your voice in my head.

I love you more than words.
Em

----------------

WHY do our emotions do this to us? Lay dorment for a while then in 1 day, BAM- they all come running out...

Sorry family, if this makes you sad too. I just needed to get it out.

Em

Here's my update

deleted

post-thanksgiving update

Eesh, where to begin.

Thanksgiving week has been a whirlwind... Started it off by going out dancing, followed by a relaxing day cleaning my apartment with Mom and looking for a new CAR!!! Well, got the ball rolling on a car and found one I liked, but needed a little while to get the financing available... Sunday Dad and I left for Lake Charles, where we lost our money, but had a great time. Monday night we had dinner at my Great Aunt\Uncle's house in LC - loved it!

Tuesday dad and I woke up early and came back to Texas, where... I GOT MY NEW CAR! I'm the proud owner of a 2010 Ford Fusion SEL - Sandstone Metallic with Camel colored leather interior. This car (for Ford) has awesome features and a nice V6 engine!

Had lunch with Dad and Shelley in Pearland then I headed up to Marble Falls to intercept mom and jackie. We enjoyed the day, however I (at this point) have picked up a horrendous cough\fever\ickyness... (as I was finishing up a Z pack too... bleh)

Thanksgiving was great minus the sickness, couldn't spoil the babies (JR and Hayden) with my love and goofy noises without a mask on.

**I almost went home today, but as I sit here listening to the TTU football game with Mom, Dad, Shelley, Steve, Jackie, Schultze, Tucker, Gretal, Radar, Bella, and myself I feel this strange warmth over us. All safe, all sound. Life is good. Something in the back of my mind says that PaPa has something to do with this....Its his comfort that I am feeling.. I'm glad I didn't go home today**

I still miss you PaPa

Emily Gene

Happy Thanksgiving

Greetings Blogger reader(s)!

I hope all is well in your world...

Where to begin....work is work.
Family is fantastic. I am truly BLESSED to have the parents I do, the siblings I do, and of course the WONDERFUL grand-mothers that I do.
We're still healing and missing PaPa Dale. I am a lot, as each day gets easier the random tears become less and less.

I'm looking to purchase my 1st car on my own!! 2010 Ford Fusion SEL Pictures will be posted if financing goes through along with availability. IM SUPER EXCITED!

I'm headed to Lake Charles tomorrow with my Dad for a mini-vacation! Very excited, then we'll head to Marble Falls for some of Jackie's good cookin! Hoping I can get in on the dressing secerets this year.

I love my family, they are my best friends, my confidants, my everything. 2009 has not been the happiest of years, but to look back on how much closer Mom, Dad, Shelley, Steve, Jackie, Martha, and I are to each other. I realize (on a day like today) that life is truly good. Not always easy or fun, but life is good.

Thanks PaPa - something tells me, you had a say in that realization for me. Miss you-

Emily Gene

Appalled and Disgusted

I have never in my life had to remove myself from a situation on terms of me breaking my own morals.

Today, that happened. An unfortunate incident while in Victoria mourning the loss of my grandfather.

Sometimes the cat does need to come out of the bag. I'm not going to do it on here, because A. That is not mature B. right now it is about support not degrading and C. I must respect people older than me.


But hear me... If one more straw gets pulled, I'm unleashing 2 years worth of anger and remorse towards those who deserve it. I'm packing up, and headed back to Houston. Even if I have to pay out the ass for a rental car.

This might be hard to read for some-- just a warning

PaPa Dale passed away last night, more details later... but today (Thursday oct 8 2009) I wrote him a letter and emailed it to his facebook. This is what it read.

Hey PaPa,
You fell asleep last night around 10:00, to embark on the happiest adventure yet.
I'm sad you're gone, but thrilled that you aren't hurting any more.
Thank you so much for giving me my Mom. You have left a great legacy of love support and care behind. Don't worry too much about Jackie, she can be my date to events. I'll hold her hand like you did, and help her up out of her chair like you did.
You were my most favorite teacher I've ever had in my life. Your words will live within my every being every day. I really listened and heard what you had to say and tried to take as many mental notes as possible.
So you know PaPa, your favorite song? "How Great Thou Art" well, today, I finally heard it too. The part I think you sang when you fell asleep.
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,How great Thou art, How great Thou art.Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,How great Thou art, How great Thou art!
I hope its wonderful up there, haha- give your sisters a great big hugs, say hi to Ace, Clara, and Richard Sr.
I won't see you for some time, but do know that I will meet you there. Only after teaching the lessons you taught me to as many people as possible.
I love you with all my heart, I will miss you every day, but I will have comfort knowing you're watching over us.
I owe you a Coors light when I get up there.
Love always,Emily Gene

I'm not sure what to title this entry. Me being who I am, and my family knows me. I am going to have a very personal entry here. Please read with an open mind.

My life at the moment...

I feel alone. Yes, the alone does come into part with me being single, but then goes beyond that. In my family I am alone. 98% of family functions I sit alone or do chores to keep busy. Feel kind of like a chameleon (however you spell that). I blend into the surroundings to not be noticed, then overlooked.

This past year *2009* has been a roller coaster of emotion for my family. Lots of downs and a few ups. That being said, I find myself in the corner of most family events sitting alone contemplating where I'm at.

5 times out of 10 my family's conversations revolve around my sister and brother-in-laws adoption. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy they have the ball rolling on expanding their family. They're going to be great parents. But in line with the adoption comes Shelley looking for a new job, which she got, Steve doing really well at his work, and them becoming parents. I'm so happy for them and love them with all my heart.

the other 3 times out of 10 comes my PaPa's battle with lung cancer. A horrible disease that has caused nothing but stress in my family. PaPa is amazing because I don't think I've once heard him complain. Call me selfish, cause its what I am being. I know it. He's not going to be here forever, but why dwell on it? When PaPa pops into my thoughts during the day, the word Cancer doesn't pop up in my head. The word LOVE does. Thats the way it should be. I worry about my family only seeing him as a cancer patient. Not a loving family figure with lots of good hugs, stories, and smiles still left in him. Cause thats who he is.

The final 2 times out of 10 comes babies. I don't understand why this is a big deal to me, since children are so far down on my list of things to do in my life, but a part of my heart aches when I hear family talk about babies. Like I don't have anything fun and exciting to talk about so they move on to something else.

That leaves me. I'm apprehensive to discuss my real stresses of life because blogs are open to whoever wants to read them. Mostly in regards to my job. I absolutely LOVE my Principles, fellow Faculty\Staff members at my school. They are AMAZING. I mean wow! They leave me speechless every day. And thats all I have to say about my job.

It just seems that everything I am doing in my life right now, has already been done. There is no "spark". I don't feel I have the exciting life I had hoped coming out of college and starting my career. I feel like a light-bulb just about to go out. Still providing some light, but not lighting up a room as a person with the whole world at her doorstep should.

I'm still longing for companionship. A hopeless romantic at heart, the time I sit in my apartment I stare off into space wondering what life would be like to have someone by my side on rainy days like today. Someone who would want to spend this kind of down time with me, watching tv while I cleaned, hell someone to just sit around and have a beer with and shoot the sh*#. (That isn't someone in my family.)

That and also letting go of a comfort. I find myself stuck in a rut I don't want to get out of, but I know I need to. Something that I'm afraid to let go of, but I have no idea why. Almost like I'm holding onto a glimmer of hope that one day things could work out. Even if I agree that right now is not the right time. I don't know why I feel that way. I wish I didn't. Trust me, I've tried to get rid of it. BLEH

Call me selfish if you like. Like I said, I probably am. But I just wish even the little things that seem to happen in my life could compare to the things happening in other peoples lives. Even if theirs aren't the most positive things to have happening.

Please blog readers, don't be offended by this, and I honestly don't mind things to stay the way they are, but I would like to at least voice how I feel. Guess thats why I've put off updating this for so long.

Chapter 1- A successful failure

August 17, 2009-

Today marks the first official day for Tucker being alone. He got a visit from my sister this afternoon for a mid-day bathroom break. Aside from being so excited, he might have had a little accident when she went to put the leash on him. Regardless, he's successfully making the transition from house dog to apartment dog. Therefore, The dog that is afraid of being alone, might make it through this in some way shape or form.

Today I had my first inservice at my job. I can't remember the last time I tried to learn names so fast. Some teachers seem really cool, some are a little over the top, and some are pretty quiet. Either way, I'm happy to have my own place in a school. My school is neat because its actually quite old, then again its well kept.

Aside from that, I'm sitting on my couch in the exact same spot where I started this little adventure. Starting up the swing of school, I am unfortunately not working out as planned. That lasted for a whole, um. Day. Granted, it will probably be easier to find a rhythm during school. Thus that is a failure.

Not quite a full chapter, but yet an update will suffice.

Prolouge- The Dog That Hates Being Alone

A recent graduate from Texas Tech University, I am embarking on the chance of a lifetime. I'm self-sufficient, educated, employed, and 100% single. My life has been a wonderful rollercoaster, full of its ups and downs. My family is my life. I come from two lovely parents, (Dad=Dennis - Mom= Phyllis) who have fufilled their parental duties to raise 2 daughters, educate them, and give them the tools needed to "fly" at the right time. Speaking of that, I have an older sister-Shelley, she's about 2 years older than me, and is married to a wonderful man- Stephen.

Its Sunday evening, I'm sitting on the couch at my new apartment. It is a small one bedroom apartment near Houston TX. A queen size bed, comfortable enough for royalty! New couch and ottoman, kitchen table, and computer. I still have boxes left to unpack, mostly in the study. Pretty much everything else is taken care of.
Tucker is my 10 month old Dachshund, who weighs an impressive 7.6 pounds. He's sleeping by my side, curled up underneath my red blanket. Tucker hasn't quite adjusted to the move yet, his idea of fun here consists of following me around the apartment, howling when I leave, or scratching the front door until I come home. Almost like that when I leave, he'll never have a friend again. Odd, but we're working on it. I just think he hates being alone.
I am about to start my career as an Elementary Music Teacher. I am very excited about the upcoming year; however, I am nervous about the social life. Unlike most girls in the world I'm not your typical girl. I hide behind my family, my jokes, and my overall bubbly personality. Finding strength that I never knew I had to be happy with my life. It is typical for women\girls of a "plus size" stature to long for the Fairy Tale love story. Well, guess what, I am one of those girls.
Don't get me wrong, at 23 I have had the wonderful opportunity to meet some great men in my life. Heck, being a tuba player most of my closest friends are boys. I have toiled with the idea of an Emily overhaul for about a year now, and always wanting to write- this has to be my best idea yet.
As tomorrow starts a new week, I'm starting a new chapter into my adventurous adulthood. To work with Tucker on being alone, we will try a 20 minute window of alone time while I Emily, will be working out.

I got a job at Pomeroy Elementary in Pasadena ISD.

I've got an apartment.

Job Hunt Continues

Here are the places I've applied and the status' that I know of.

1. Deer Park ISD -Elementary Interviewed-> waiting for news
2. Pasadena ISD- Elem. Application Acitve
3. Angleton ISD- HS Application Active
4. Clear Creek ISD- HS Applied
5. Lamar Consolidated ISD- HS Applied
6. Galena Park ISD- Elem. Applied
7. Barbers Hill ISD-HS Applied
8. Pearland ISD- HS Applied
9. Texas City ISD- Elem. Applied
10. Alvin ISD- Elem Applied
11. Spring Branch ISD- HS Applied


whew- more to come I'm sure

Lost in the moment

Dearest Blog.

I'm sorry I have not been faithful. Life as I know it has been, well... different.

Glorious thing happens tomorrow. My 80 year old grandfather completes his 37-procedure proton radiation at MD Anderson. Not only is he practically symptom free, but he's happy. 1- he gets to go home and spend time, well... at home. 2- this has been an incredible learning experience for everyone, and if you know PaPa he's a damn good teacher. 3- this should yield excellent results for now.

Thursday my cousin Mikey and his wife Rachel, will welcome Baby Gaskamp into the world. I'll have a 2nd cousin, and my grandparents will get to see a GREAT-GRANDBABY! :)

Shelley and Steve are looking down the road to adoption. I'm very excited for them. Like Shelley says, its not what she had planned 2 years ago, but you just cant put all of your eggs in one basket. I can't wait to see baby Whistler running around.

My parents are wonderful. I can't imagine how strong they are throughout everything 2009 has brought us. Some days it seems harder on them than others. But they seem to make it through. I just have to keep reminding myself that arguments are a part of marriage too..

I guess that's about it. Oh yeah, I graduated from college. Yup, I actually finished my degree. However, with everything that seems to be going on lately- my time to shine is on the back burner. So I'm just applying to as many jobs as I can (8 so far) and will go from there.

I love my family. No doubt. I do. I owe them the world, and Thank God everyday for them.
They are outstanding.

Happy Easter

Greetings Blog world "aka family"

Today is Easter Sunday. My favorite Holiday. I don't know if its the baskets or just the happiness that Christ has Risen. Truly amazing day.

On top of that today is Shelley's 25th Birthday! Happy Birthday Shell.

Life is going right now. I'm almost finished with Student Teaching! That means Graduation! May 9th, 1:30pm Texas Tech United Spirit Arena will be the sight of a glorious occasion. I will walk across that stage, move my tassel, turn my College ring around and walk out with the world ahead of me. Geebus thats scary.

I have big aspirations for me. I've started looking for some apartments in the area, however its only tentative because I need to know where I'm working first. However I do miss the "carefree" life college was. Already... Oh well.

Granny Jackie and Papa Dale are living with me and the family right now. He's almost 1\2 way done with his Proton Radiation. He's a true trooper or his treatments are just the right strength. It took some adjusting but we're in a routine, so life is good.

Shelley and Steve are on the project to pregnancy or parenting. Check their blog for updates.

I'm turning 23 in 25 days... needless to say I'm a little paranoid when it comes to that whole marriage thing for me. Now that I'm working I feel as if I don't have any time for meeting people or mingling. Maybe thats why teachers stay single if they don't have someone once they start their career.

but thats a whole nother post.

Happy Easter everyone - love ya'll

SIGH

I need to write.

I'm a dumb-ass. No clue how I'm going to make it on my own. I just feel like for every step forward I make as an adult, I take 2 backwards...


Oh Well. Sorry about the expensive mistake mom.

February of 2009 can kiss my @$$

Hello my two readers.. :) haha maybe there is more, I'll try to be more positive.

The majority of my closest friends and family are aware of the shambles Feb. has been so I'm only going to write about other stuff.

I just completed my student teaching at Llano ISD. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined the saddness I had leaving that school. I'm going to miss those directors like I do my family when I would leave for school. My perception of secondary band directing has completely flip flopped. I could do that for quite some time, and be happy about it. I owe that band a metal for reminding me why I wanted to be a Music Educator in the first place.

I start teaching at Deer Park Elem. tomorrow. I'm also very excited about that. I've already had some teaching with these aged kids, so I'm anxious to see how Houston area schools do it compared to Lubbock schools.

With the above statement, I guess its understood that I have moved home. Thats right, after 5 years - I finally got to unpack. (or am getting to) - I never thought I'd say this, but I find comfort at this point of my life to be where I'm at. I know its not too glamorous being a single 22 year old woman living with Mom and Dad, but I wouldn't change it for the world. However my stay here will hopefully be short lived, that with comes a job, comes a new apt for me and Tucker. *my puppy* -

I can't wait for spring break. To spend time with my family, and get further away from February.

Love and updates will come!
Em

Bucket List that Shelley did

The idea is to highlight or change the color of the things on the list you've completed.

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars. - I've been camping.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii. -
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyworld.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables. - back in Sagemont we did
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept in an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitchhiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort.

25. Held a lamb. --- I ate one once- don't worry it was cooked
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke. .
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt- am currently!.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.

80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.- fishing
88. Had chicken pox. -
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.- Clyde "The GLIDE" Drexler :)
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one. .
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Happy New Year!

Greetings blog world. Happy 2009.

Well i'm about to adventure into the world of teaching within the next week and might be a little scared, but I'm ready to get it over with.

We're recently back on land from the Voyager of the Seas and had a wonderful time. I had an absolute blast! My friend Shannon came with me and we embraced single life and truly enjoyed ourselves.

I will be student teaching in the Marble Falls area for the first half of the semester and here in the Houston area for the second half.

We're planning on a super family vacation spring break on the Carnival Victory. Eager doesn't even begin to explain how much I'm looking forward to that!

All is well!
- Em

What a shocking day...

Dear ----,
I got some interesting news about you today. When FAP called me to tell me what had been going on, I was broadsided. My heart sank in my chest, vomit crept up my throat, and tears welled up in my eyes... Its like a part of me died with that one conversation. Granted I know we don't see each other more than once a year, and that you are in fact 18 years old, but deep down I do see you as "little ----". Want to know why? Today, as I forced myself to go up to school to keep from breaking down, I thought about our lives together, and guess what... As much as I'd like to admit it, but the day you were born is (to my best knowledge) the first day I can remember my life... Shelby was hiding under my parent's bed, and (your sister) was over playing in the back yard with Shelley and I... I remember when your Mom and Dad brought you home to your house...
And to hear of you making monumental bad choices in your young adult life, breaks my heart. I never saw this coming.... I never once imagined you would get sucked into that crowd...
You had (hopefully still have) everything! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! WHY!! Your parents love you to death, my parents love you to death, your sister adores you, shelley and I adore you.... Do you have any idea what would happen to us if something happened to you? Do you even care about how that would make us feel? Damnit ---- you're better than that!!!!! I know there is nothing anyone can do to change what has happened in the past.. but Dear God I will spend every prayer I have, begging God to send some guidance for you... ITS NOT WORTH IT... NONE OF IT IS.

I pray that God touches you soon, scoops you up in his arms and slaps the shit out of you... learn from this, or else you'll never grow up and out of it....

That lifestyle you've been living, ----, is a one way ticket on the fastest train to nowhere.



My grandfather would give his left arm for a body to work as good as yours does.. even if it means just being able to walk around wal-mart... and here you are, killing yours? I don't get how ANY high could be worth that much... and maybe it is cause you're 18 that you don't see it...

Talk to God, Talk to your parents, and get new friends.
I love you, and hope the best
Emily

Guess I should update this thing

Here are some pictures from the TTU vs. UT game.. no i didnt go, but i have a lot of friends that did.




















Also, above is Mr. Anderson dressed up as Jack Sparrow - the band did pirates of the caribbean show.


Some exciting news. One of my old work friends doxie had puppies, and is giving them away! I'm getting one! a boy, he's black.. I'll post his picture.












Well its November of my last semester here at Tech. Senioritis doesn't begin to explain how I feel. School is going well, classes are easy. The house is good, I'm fairly healthy. The headache has subsided mostly, occasionally a few bad days, but all in all improving. I've been taking multi-vitamins per the endocrinologist's suggestion.

I would say that I'm having a ball these last few weeks of school. I really wish I could, but I really have found myself sad up here. I'm really tired of the people here. Mostly the school of music. Its like I'm in a different place than everyone else... I just want to be out of here...

I have my student teaching partially squared away. The first half of the spring, I will be student teaching at Llano High school. Living in Marble falls. I'm really looking forward to that. Still waiting on my Elementary placement, which should happen within this week I hope.

Headache update

Well, this morning in the sorry excuse of a Tropical storm, mom and I went to a neurologist here in town to see if I could get some relief.
The Doctor didn't seem too concerned with the pain I've been having but like everyone I've seen 3weeks is too long for a headache.
Turns out when all of this started chances are that my Great occipital nerve running from the base of my neck up through my scalp has gotten irritated causing the "between the skull and scalp" headache. Luckily the doctor had 2 fixes (would be three but ive already tried narcotics). 1st would be two injections to the base of the nerve of steroids and a numbing agent. 2nd would be a six day dose of oral steroids. So I took the injections there in the office, and I will wait a few days to see if I get some relief. BTW... scalp injections hurt BAD...
Now instead of my whole head hurting like it has, my pain is coming from the injection sites... Not sure if thats good or bad? So i'll update in a few days if this stuff works.. (i hope)


schools good, works good, parents are good- other than that my life is pretty swell... im just anxious to see if my 3 week headache is finally gone...

-em

update

Well today is day 15.... yup. 15....
no relief in fact, i think my head it getting worse...

I went to my dr. she seemed clueless but did tell me my scalp was really tense...
so I went and had a CT scan done today... it came back clean... which is great news..
but now.. why the headache? she told me to go see a Neurologist... so I go tuesday.. unfortunately.. I still don't have any relief from the pain...

I'll pay someone a nickel if they'll run over my head?

10 days

So today marks day 10 of my headache. It's not really a headache, more of my head just hurts. Right across the crown of my head. I've tried everything I can imagine to get rid of it. Tylenol, Tylenol sinus, claritin, sudafed, aleve, zyrtec, vicodin, and my moms super duper headache pills... no relief. I'm going to my primary care Doctor tomorrow afternoon to see what she thinks.... grrrrr.....

I'm in full swing at Alivn Community College taking US history 1301. Considering I'm one of the oldest people in my class and my professor is ancient I think I'll do okay. Along with class 8-10:15am I head over to FW Gartner where I'm working as a "fill-in" secretary for our family friend's business. Therefore my life is pretty much consumed up with school and work.

I'm glad to spend time home, but with my head issues its not so enjoyable. My parents, Shelley, and Steve have been my network here. I enjoy spending time with them these days, learning how to be an adult by their example.

The bonus to not feeling so well and working all the time is that I'm staying out of trouble. Minus the fact that some social life would be nice from time to time, but I just dont feel up to it lately.... so we'll see what the doctor says.


I had an MRI done on my "back hump" friday morning, seeing if it is a Lipoma (benign removeable tumor) or just in fact a place where my body stores fat. I should know something later this week into next week...

This past friday I went with Mom and dad down to Victoria to see Granny Jackie and PaPa Dale, their house looked great and of course I enjoyed spending time with them. Saturday we headed to Shiner where we stayed at our favorite Bed and Breakfast (Kaspar House) and attended the Boedeker\Jahnsen family reunion today and got back an hour or so ago. It was great to see Granny Martha, Dad, Susie, and Aunt Neese spending time reminiscing with family. I love my family, both sides... I guess after the year we've had, I'm really trying to take full advantage of each moment I have with them...

Thats all for now. Till I write again...

Emily

A Sad Day

I know not many people read this, and most of the time I'm rambling about the ups and downs of my life.

This morning, I got news that a friend of the family, Joe Miller, passed away. He was fighting stage 4 lung cancer with cancerous lesions on his liver. Joe was an active band parent throughout mine and my sister's HS career. His daughter Elizabeth was Shelley's college dorm room-mate.

I'm happy that Joe doesn't hurt anymore, I'm glad that he is at peace. I am however, sad for Joanne (his wife), Elizabethe, and Andrew (his son). I hope the best for them in this really hard time in their lives. I can't imagine what I would do if I was in there shoes. I pray to God that I won't have to find that out.

On a somewhat funny note, I'm actually considering grad school, just considering. Med school maybe... something that would let me help out with someone in need. It might be in Music Therapy, who knows. I just know, that within the past year cancer has shown up more and more frequently with relatives and friends, and I'm not liking it. So maybe I can find a way for me to help... We'll see..

So if you are one of the people who read this blog of mine, please keep the Miller family in your thoughts.

-Emily Gene

just kidding

everyone has flaws... im seeing more and more every day
in myself and in others...

grades- spring 2008

3.4 gpa this semester!! :-) my best yet!! so excited!